I've been here six months. SIX. MONTHS! I.e. one half of one year.
Crazy, yet true. And, I'm out of my funk. Yay, me!
last week: I was about to miss a bus on the other side of town so I flag down the first guy I see to hitchhike a ride (completely safe, I had a friend with me), and it ends up being a guy on a motorbike with one of those sidecarts on the side. (Yes, apparently they still make them!) All I needed was a long scarf and some pilot goggles. :) The same week I caught a ride on a tractor, in a luggage carrier, and holding onto the back of a jeep. The hands down best way to travel is to travel broke. I'm going to try to make it from one coast to another w/o monies someday. Who's with me?
I apologize to everyone I haven't been emailing back. My email has been acting up the past two weeks.
A couple from Italy pulled through a couple of days ago. At one point I was translating between five languages. Wha?! Granted, I don't really have a command on any, including English, anymore. Anyhow, the guy was this bartender for a place he owns on the beaches of Genova; the woman is an accountant. An interesting combination of people for sure, but their dynamic was really unbelievable. It's beautiful to see people that bounce off each other that well. It made me happy.
Ok. I'm out. Big hug to everyone at home.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Pitiful
So extremely and utterly depressed. I don't really know what i am trying to accomplish out here but yesterday was a trying day and I had a breakdown. This work is futile. I want to run into the desert until I become a part of the horizon or am eaten by vultures. I desparately need a big hug and some chocolate milk; neither of which are apart of the culture, neither of which will happen anytime soon.
Sad, sad times.
_____________________________
On a more constructive note, what can be done to revive the arts in our communities? The initial trails have to be blazed to show it (professions in or involving the arts) can be done successfully. There are so many really talented people that end up in 9-5 daytime jobs out of a lack of opportunities. Hm....
Start a school? An international mentor/ exchange program? Get some grants? Fundraisers? A consulting company? A publishing house/art gallery/music studio/performance space? How can this be done?
Sad, sad times.
_____________________________
On a more constructive note, what can be done to revive the arts in our communities? The initial trails have to be blazed to show it (professions in or involving the arts) can be done successfully. There are so many really talented people that end up in 9-5 daytime jobs out of a lack of opportunities. Hm....
Start a school? An international mentor/ exchange program? Get some grants? Fundraisers? A consulting company? A publishing house/art gallery/music studio/performance space? How can this be done?
Monday, February 14, 2005
As Vim would say,
Wha?!? Happy V day foolios. I had a flashback today to when V day's were the most fun (beyond the stereotypical relationship stuff):
*In grade school (with secret admirers and performated cardboard valentines in decorated brown paper bags.... y'all know what I am talking about.)
*College--> Case in point: Jen, Tea, E, Rito and well, most of the ppl on the 3rd and 4th floor would buy each other Weston-delivered flowers and candy (secretly) but everyone had the same idea. Skip to the end of the day: lots of laughing at unoriginality and enough chocolate to last for days.
_____
In other news, my tummy hurts. (I'm putting it mildly.) India has seriously tested me this past six months, both physically and mentally. Mentally, by making me question everything I am and everything I believe in... Physically, by handing me a different sickness every few weeks to make fully sure that I appreciate the moments that my body is happy with me. I don't usually give details b/c one, I don't want to worry anyone, and two, I reserve most complaints of health to the older crowds when pain-is-actually-pain and it's not just rups-bein-whiny. Ah well. I fo sho miss being taken care of when I fall ill. I question if that is apart of growing up: being able to take care of yourself even when you can't. I'll tell you though, there's very little else that can make a person feel more alone in the world than being sick without anyone to bring you a blanket or some juice.
I know, I know, 'rups, it's not like you are dead. quit your complaining.' I'm done. :)
____
One of the coolest things about this year is the people I've been meeting. The world is so much bigger than we give it credit for. Some of the characters: a Brazillian filmmaker, an Isreali historian, an Austrailian designer, American filmmakers, a deep sea archeologist from Turkey, fashion designers from London, an English artist (who is about to open some international galleries and wants me to build up my work to display in them... WHA?!?!?) international journalists, artists and entreprenuers. I find it funny that I came to India to have the time to focus in on what I want to "do with the rest of my life" and India decides to accost me with the infinite number of possibilities of anything and everything that can be done in the world. The coolest thing about it? *It's no longer a decision that frustrates me.* I'm getting there and enjoying the road to figuring it out. We shall see if this is a feeling that fights or flights.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." -- Albert Schweitzer
______
Can someone answer a question for me? I was once told that the beauty of a culture is historically measured by its arts, music and literature. Why are these the areas that are (seemingly) appreciated the least as far as professions?
*In grade school (with secret admirers and performated cardboard valentines in decorated brown paper bags.... y'all know what I am talking about.)
*College--> Case in point: Jen, Tea, E, Rito and well, most of the ppl on the 3rd and 4th floor would buy each other Weston-delivered flowers and candy (secretly) but everyone had the same idea. Skip to the end of the day: lots of laughing at unoriginality and enough chocolate to last for days.
_____
In other news, my tummy hurts. (I'm putting it mildly.) India has seriously tested me this past six months, both physically and mentally. Mentally, by making me question everything I am and everything I believe in... Physically, by handing me a different sickness every few weeks to make fully sure that I appreciate the moments that my body is happy with me. I don't usually give details b/c one, I don't want to worry anyone, and two, I reserve most complaints of health to the older crowds when pain-is-actually-pain and it's not just rups-bein-whiny. Ah well. I fo sho miss being taken care of when I fall ill. I question if that is apart of growing up: being able to take care of yourself even when you can't. I'll tell you though, there's very little else that can make a person feel more alone in the world than being sick without anyone to bring you a blanket or some juice.
I know, I know, 'rups, it's not like you are dead. quit your complaining.' I'm done. :)
____
One of the coolest things about this year is the people I've been meeting. The world is so much bigger than we give it credit for. Some of the characters: a Brazillian filmmaker, an Isreali historian, an Austrailian designer, American filmmakers, a deep sea archeologist from Turkey, fashion designers from London, an English artist (who is about to open some international galleries and wants me to build up my work to display in them... WHA?!?!?) international journalists, artists and entreprenuers. I find it funny that I came to India to have the time to focus in on what I want to "do with the rest of my life" and India decides to accost me with the infinite number of possibilities of anything and everything that can be done in the world. The coolest thing about it? *It's no longer a decision that frustrates me.* I'm getting there and enjoying the road to figuring it out. We shall see if this is a feeling that fights or flights.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." -- Albert Schweitzer
______
Can someone answer a question for me? I was once told that the beauty of a culture is historically measured by its arts, music and literature. Why are these the areas that are (seemingly) appreciated the least as far as professions?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
the invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Grr.
*this post is in response to an email forward I saw on the SAPAC_chicago listserv written by YSS and OY, 2 American organizations that organize South Asian youth. Do not read on if politics and/or activism is not your cup of tea.
_______________
Ok, so I just got an email forward that is flying around saying that Indicorps has taken funds and worked with organizations that are involved with the RSS, a group known to promote an extremist religious and political agenda in India. The email questions Indicorps, saying that by working with organizations and taking funds from people associated with the RSS, Indicorps is supporting the RSS political agenda. Umm... completely unfounded, thanks. I'm still debating whether I want to get involved into an email fight about it ... but I wanted to post up here just in case any of y'all had heard anything.
My main problem is YSS and OY send this email asking Indicorps to explain themselves. The email was sent to a whole lot of people but not Indicorps itself. Ummm.. if you want Indicorps to explain themselves, why aren't you asking Indicorps? If you weren't going to ask directly, why wouldn't you at least include Indicorps on the list? ... unless your intent was not to get answers but to start rumors.
Now as we all know, I usually, if not always, ignore email forwards. The only reason I am replying to this one is because it undermines the work that I am doing this year. I won't allow it.
IDRF (India Development and Relief Fund) has been one of the past funders (one of many funders mind you) for Indicorps. This group also apparently funds some RSS organizations. The email says that, with Indicorps accepting funds from them, they are supporting the RSS agenda. Someone should tell the email's authors that they should've done their homework.
1. Indicorps is secular and non partisan. As an organization, Indicorps makes it very clear to funders that the funds are accepted with no strings attached. It's not about name recognition, it's about youth taking ownership and initiative to be agents of social change. It's so silly to have YSS and OY picking a fight like this when we're all trying to get to the same place. A unified front. Inclusive empowerment. Solidarity. I mean, come on.
2. Hindu extremist philosophies are (usually) anti-Muslim, anti-Dalit (used to be referred to as untouchables). The IDRF is the funder that actually funded the project I am working on.
I invite anyone who questions Indicorps motives to come visit my project.
I live in a community that is fully comprised of Dalits and Muslims (as I've mentioned before). Now, anyone that knows me knows full well that I am here to serve these communities. To empower the women. To give them a stable income. To give them ownership over their artistic abilities and have that ownership and confidence ripple into other facets of their lives.
No one, and I mean no one, uses me as a vehicle to push an agenda here. No one tells me how to do my work out here. Whoever wrote that email needs to email ME directly before telling me that the work I am doing is Hindutva. I am one of the direct benefactors of these funds. They are paying for me at a ground level. Why don't you ASK me what work I'm doing before telling me who I am tied to? Fools. How can you question the organization without first doing some RESEARCH? Did you? Did you find out that the first two girls on the project were Muslim and Sikh? That the following year was a Hindu and Muslim w/ Pakistani roots working together?
And lastly #3.
Had you done your RESEARCH, you would've found out that the people that spent time training us (this year's fellows) at orientation were people such as Sushma Iyengar, Anna Hazare, and Harsh Mander. Why don't you look up who these people are before you try to say you know an organization's motives?
Grr.
_______________
Ok, so I just got an email forward that is flying around saying that Indicorps has taken funds and worked with organizations that are involved with the RSS, a group known to promote an extremist religious and political agenda in India. The email questions Indicorps, saying that by working with organizations and taking funds from people associated with the RSS, Indicorps is supporting the RSS political agenda. Umm... completely unfounded, thanks. I'm still debating whether I want to get involved into an email fight about it ... but I wanted to post up here just in case any of y'all had heard anything.
My main problem is YSS and OY send this email asking Indicorps to explain themselves. The email was sent to a whole lot of people but not Indicorps itself. Ummm.. if you want Indicorps to explain themselves, why aren't you asking Indicorps? If you weren't going to ask directly, why wouldn't you at least include Indicorps on the list? ... unless your intent was not to get answers but to start rumors.
Now as we all know, I usually, if not always, ignore email forwards. The only reason I am replying to this one is because it undermines the work that I am doing this year. I won't allow it.
IDRF (India Development and Relief Fund) has been one of the past funders (one of many funders mind you) for Indicorps. This group also apparently funds some RSS organizations. The email says that, with Indicorps accepting funds from them, they are supporting the RSS agenda. Someone should tell the email's authors that they should've done their homework.
1. Indicorps is secular and non partisan. As an organization, Indicorps makes it very clear to funders that the funds are accepted with no strings attached. It's not about name recognition, it's about youth taking ownership and initiative to be agents of social change. It's so silly to have YSS and OY picking a fight like this when we're all trying to get to the same place. A unified front. Inclusive empowerment. Solidarity. I mean, come on.
2. Hindu extremist philosophies are (usually) anti-Muslim, anti-Dalit (used to be referred to as untouchables). The IDRF is the funder that actually funded the project I am working on.
I invite anyone who questions Indicorps motives to come visit my project.
I live in a community that is fully comprised of Dalits and Muslims (as I've mentioned before). Now, anyone that knows me knows full well that I am here to serve these communities. To empower the women. To give them a stable income. To give them ownership over their artistic abilities and have that ownership and confidence ripple into other facets of their lives.
No one, and I mean no one, uses me as a vehicle to push an agenda here. No one tells me how to do my work out here. Whoever wrote that email needs to email ME directly before telling me that the work I am doing is Hindutva. I am one of the direct benefactors of these funds. They are paying for me at a ground level. Why don't you ASK me what work I'm doing before telling me who I am tied to? Fools. How can you question the organization without first doing some RESEARCH? Did you? Did you find out that the first two girls on the project were Muslim and Sikh? That the following year was a Hindu and Muslim w/ Pakistani roots working together?
And lastly #3.
Had you done your RESEARCH, you would've found out that the people that spent time training us (this year's fellows) at orientation were people such as Sushma Iyengar, Anna Hazare, and Harsh Mander. Why don't you look up who these people are before you try to say you know an organization's motives?
Grr.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
hey friends
I'm back in Gujarat. Safe. My head is swimming. Completely overwhelmed by the tsunami and everything involved. Sleep deprived. 34 hour train ride. Quality time with a lot of intensely altruistic people that are super focused and not even slightly hippy. Just got back from a break of dawn ultimate frisbee game along the Sabermati riverbed to destress. Desparately need some sleep and some fruit.
Huge hug to my corners. I love you fools so much and can't wait to see you.
And, last but not least, time to dispell some rumors:
#1. No, I am not coming home early, nor am I already home.
#2. No, I am not here to get married; this idea needs to be unthunk immediately. (Vim, you are in charge of keeping this rumor in check back home.)
Ok. Gotta go.
Huge hug to my corners. I love you fools so much and can't wait to see you.
And, last but not least, time to dispell some rumors:
#1. No, I am not coming home early, nor am I already home.
#2. No, I am not here to get married; this idea needs to be unthunk immediately. (Vim, you are in charge of keeping this rumor in check back home.)
Ok. Gotta go.