I walk through the hole in the fence
to the other side.
Under my fingers I feel the gritty wire
rusted by 139 years
of the salty breath of the sea.
Beneath the iron sky
Mexican children kick their soccer ball across,
run after it, entering the US
I press my hand to the steel curtain-
chainlink fence crowned with rolled barbed wire-
rippling from the sea where Tijuana touches San Diego
unrolling over mountains
and plains
and deserts,
this "Tortilla Curtain" turning into el rio Grande
flowing down to the flatlands
of the Magic Valley of South Texas
its mouth emptying into the Gulf.
1,950 mile-long open wound
dividing a pueblo, a culture,
running down the length of my body,
staking fence rods in my flesh,
splits me splits me
me raja me raja
This is my home
this thin edge of
barbwire.
But the skin of the earth is seamless.
The sea cannot be fenced,
el mar does not stop at borders.
To show the white man what she thought of his
arrogance,
Yemaya blew that wire fence down.
This land was Mexican once,
was Indian always
and is.
And will be again.
--Gloria Anzaldua
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Remind me to punch myself next time I complain about something
Fragile life makes light of quake, 64 days later
MUZAFFARABAD: A woman has been recovered alive from the debris of her flattened home near Muzaffarabad, 64 days after the October 8 earthquake, medics said. Forty-year-old Naqsha Bibi was rescued from the rubble of the wrecked Kamser refugee camp by some people who were digging to retrieve the bodies of their kin on Sunday evening, said Dr Hafizur Rehman of Pakistan Islamic Medical Association (PIMA) hospital.
She was rushed to PIMA facility where her condition is stated to be out of danger. Doctors say she does not bear any visible wound or cut on her body. However, she is malnourished and 80 percent of muscles have withered. "She has been admitted to the intensive care unit of the hospital and we are closely monitoring her condition," said Doctor Hafiz, the incharge of PIMA Field Surgical Hospital. He said: "We have started administering liquid to control the dehydration she is suffering from. She is improving and we do hope she will survive." "It is miraculous that she survived two months under the debris and without eating or drinking," said Dr Riaz, another physician of the PIMA. The villagers who dug the woman out said pieces of rotten food were found in the hole, and that she might have survived by drinking rainwater, Hafeez said. Over-200 people died in the Kamser refugee camp, 6 kms north west of Muzaffarabad, due to the October 8 tremblor.
MUZAFFARABAD: A woman has been recovered alive from the debris of her flattened home near Muzaffarabad, 64 days after the October 8 earthquake, medics said. Forty-year-old Naqsha Bibi was rescued from the rubble of the wrecked Kamser refugee camp by some people who were digging to retrieve the bodies of their kin on Sunday evening, said Dr Hafizur Rehman of Pakistan Islamic Medical Association (PIMA) hospital.
She was rushed to PIMA facility where her condition is stated to be out of danger. Doctors say she does not bear any visible wound or cut on her body. However, she is malnourished and 80 percent of muscles have withered. "She has been admitted to the intensive care unit of the hospital and we are closely monitoring her condition," said Doctor Hafiz, the incharge of PIMA Field Surgical Hospital. He said: "We have started administering liquid to control the dehydration she is suffering from. She is improving and we do hope she will survive." "It is miraculous that she survived two months under the debris and without eating or drinking," said Dr Riaz, another physician of the PIMA. The villagers who dug the woman out said pieces of rotten food were found in the hole, and that she might have survived by drinking rainwater, Hafeez said. Over-200 people died in the Kamser refugee camp, 6 kms north west of Muzaffarabad, due to the October 8 tremblor.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Progress on the home front
Starting to answer the 'what now?' question has been the reason I fell off the face of the planet for a bit.
I've completely thrown myself into applying to jobs and grad school, heart and soul. (A HUGE thank you to everyone that helped me make the deadline today!!) Finding cool opportunities, meeting inspiring people, and, as always, so impressed with all the unbelievable things that my friends and family are up to (though they can never see it themselves).
Highlights:
1. Went to a forum organized by some amazing women who have all started their own things (dance companies, publishing, galleries, music tours) and are making a living doing what they love (all Indian, all artists -- I didn't know that it actually happens!) My jaw was dropped the entire time.
2. Crashed on my brother's apartment floor for a week to get advice from my old professors (weird) (luckily some ppl I know and love (that are my own age) live in town).
3. Chased a FedEx truck (to its main distribution center) (near Midway airport) (with my mom) (during a snowstorm).
4. Surrounded by, and super grateful for, all the crazy-inspiring people that push me to challenge myself. You guys rock.
so, long story short: no, I am not "home eating Cheetoes" as my cousin likes to believe.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. :)
I've completely thrown myself into applying to jobs and grad school, heart and soul. (A HUGE thank you to everyone that helped me make the deadline today!!) Finding cool opportunities, meeting inspiring people, and, as always, so impressed with all the unbelievable things that my friends and family are up to (though they can never see it themselves).
Highlights:
1. Went to a forum organized by some amazing women who have all started their own things (dance companies, publishing, galleries, music tours) and are making a living doing what they love (all Indian, all artists -- I didn't know that it actually happens!) My jaw was dropped the entire time.
2. Crashed on my brother's apartment floor for a week to get advice from my old professors (weird) (luckily some ppl I know and love (that are my own age) live in town).
3. Chased a FedEx truck (to its main distribution center) (near Midway airport) (with my mom) (during a snowstorm).
4. Surrounded by, and super grateful for, all the crazy-inspiring people that push me to challenge myself. You guys rock.
so, long story short: no, I am not "home eating Cheetoes" as my cousin likes to believe.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. :)
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
"People who do not break things first will never learn to create anything."
It's a Tagalog proverb. The vague type of wise saying that can mean whatever you need it to mean ... in order to push you in the direction in which you are subconsciously pushing yourself in anyway.
A good friend of mine once told me that you should never forget that the world is a really big place. With globalization making the world smaller and smaller, it's hard to remember that there is also infinite room for possibility. Only our minds' self- imposed limits tell us otherwise.
Since I've been back in the states, I've realized that all of my friends and family are in really different spaces. Well on their way to becoming academics, doctors, activists, entreprenuers, nurses, architects, graphic designers, corporate successes, mothers, husbands, artists, lawyers, pharmacists... My brother's graduating this year (AAAAAA!!!!) with poli sci and history. My cousin's majoring in voice performance and piano. Everyone is all over the place (a fact that I love). I find myself wondering what category I fall into- in their heads, as well as my own. But what's crazy to think, is how different our perspectives are. Each of our respective choices recreate our environments, which, in turn, re-inform our lives.
I'm not making sense. Here's what I mean: when I was doing improv, the people I was surrounded by were all actors and sketch writers. In that circle, it was normal to wait tables (to have the necessary flexibility to make auditions), to not have health insurance, to be living flamboyant lives on next to no money: always waiting for a break. It was insecure, but they all lived in flux waiting for the opportunity to be what they wanted to be. Their vision kept them afloat; unstable, but beautiful in theory.
When I worked corporate at the bank, I was surrounded by people who had sacrificed the lives they had pictured for themselves (police officers, high school teachers for low-income hispanic neighborhoods, fathers who had time for their children, musicians, a broadway singer), because they made a ton of money, which apparently made up for their sacrifice. Our conversations at lunch were about interest rates and loans and investments- money and how to best make more of it. It was stable, and super comfortable, but it was slowly making me numb to everything I used to be passionate about.
At my internships, the focus was on impressing the people I needed to impress to get ahead. I had to give the greatest presentations, the most thorough research, the most captivating powerpoint speechs. I learned a lot, for sure, but it was about selling things I didn't necessarily believe.
When I started this fellowship, I was surrounded and supported by people who dared me to think bigger. Whenever I failed and fell flat on my face, I was helped up and pushed back out into the field. Conversations were about what it means to be resiliant or accountable or passionate. No one was getting paid, no one really got any recognition (outside of the press we got for the 'idea' of what we were doing), but everyone was inspired and challenged, everyday.
Maybe it's lofty idealism.. but maybe it's also necessary. Maybe we trap ourselves in our own lives. Loans and fear and mortgages and unhealthy relationships and other people's expectations and ... all the things that stop us. And then we give up, "because it's too late." What does that even mean??? When is it ok to stop trying?? I'm 25 and I feel like I am just beginning to understand all the things I am capable of doing. When my dad graduated with his masters, a 90 year old woman graduated with him. When Shiv went to study Carnatic violin, one of the masters she studied alongside was 80 (the woman had started playing when she was 75!)
Am I running away from responsibilty? Am I a flake? Maybe, depending on who decides. But many of the people that inspire me could've been called flakes, too: (bill drayton, anjali desai, anand, ruth forman, maya angelou, kelly tsai, guri mehta, pavi, anar patel, my mom .... the list goes on) All I know is that, to do justice to the potential and opportunity and privilege that I have been afforded, I want to make something substantial of myself.
The question is, though it makes the whole conversation circular, what does 'substantial' mean, and whose definition matters?
A good friend of mine once told me that you should never forget that the world is a really big place. With globalization making the world smaller and smaller, it's hard to remember that there is also infinite room for possibility. Only our minds' self- imposed limits tell us otherwise.
Since I've been back in the states, I've realized that all of my friends and family are in really different spaces. Well on their way to becoming academics, doctors, activists, entreprenuers, nurses, architects, graphic designers, corporate successes, mothers, husbands, artists, lawyers, pharmacists... My brother's graduating this year (AAAAAA!!!!) with poli sci and history. My cousin's majoring in voice performance and piano. Everyone is all over the place (a fact that I love). I find myself wondering what category I fall into- in their heads, as well as my own. But what's crazy to think, is how different our perspectives are. Each of our respective choices recreate our environments, which, in turn, re-inform our lives.
I'm not making sense. Here's what I mean: when I was doing improv, the people I was surrounded by were all actors and sketch writers. In that circle, it was normal to wait tables (to have the necessary flexibility to make auditions), to not have health insurance, to be living flamboyant lives on next to no money: always waiting for a break. It was insecure, but they all lived in flux waiting for the opportunity to be what they wanted to be. Their vision kept them afloat; unstable, but beautiful in theory.
When I worked corporate at the bank, I was surrounded by people who had sacrificed the lives they had pictured for themselves (police officers, high school teachers for low-income hispanic neighborhoods, fathers who had time for their children, musicians, a broadway singer), because they made a ton of money, which apparently made up for their sacrifice. Our conversations at lunch were about interest rates and loans and investments- money and how to best make more of it. It was stable, and super comfortable, but it was slowly making me numb to everything I used to be passionate about.
At my internships, the focus was on impressing the people I needed to impress to get ahead. I had to give the greatest presentations, the most thorough research, the most captivating powerpoint speechs. I learned a lot, for sure, but it was about selling things I didn't necessarily believe.
When I started this fellowship, I was surrounded and supported by people who dared me to think bigger. Whenever I failed and fell flat on my face, I was helped up and pushed back out into the field. Conversations were about what it means to be resiliant or accountable or passionate. No one was getting paid, no one really got any recognition (outside of the press we got for the 'idea' of what we were doing), but everyone was inspired and challenged, everyday.
Maybe it's lofty idealism.. but maybe it's also necessary. Maybe we trap ourselves in our own lives. Loans and fear and mortgages and unhealthy relationships and other people's expectations and ... all the things that stop us. And then we give up, "because it's too late." What does that even mean??? When is it ok to stop trying?? I'm 25 and I feel like I am just beginning to understand all the things I am capable of doing. When my dad graduated with his masters, a 90 year old woman graduated with him. When Shiv went to study Carnatic violin, one of the masters she studied alongside was 80 (the woman had started playing when she was 75!)
Am I running away from responsibilty? Am I a flake? Maybe, depending on who decides. But many of the people that inspire me could've been called flakes, too: (bill drayton, anjali desai, anand, ruth forman, maya angelou, kelly tsai, guri mehta, pavi, anar patel, my mom .... the list goes on) All I know is that, to do justice to the potential and opportunity and privilege that I have been afforded, I want to make something substantial of myself.
The question is, though it makes the whole conversation circular, what does 'substantial' mean, and whose definition matters?
Saturday, November 26, 2005
From her essay "Confronting Empire"
What can we do?
We can hone our memory, we can learn from our history. We can continue to build public opinion until it becomes a deafening roar...
We can reinvent civil disobedience in a million different ways. In other words, we can come up with a million ways of becoming a collective pain in the ass...
Our strategy should be not only to confront Empire, but to lay siege to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness – and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we’re being brainwashed to believe.
The corporate relvolution will collapse if we refuse to busy what they are selling- their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability.
Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them.
Arundhati Roy, February 2003.
An Ordinary Person’s Guide to Empire
(This book is amazing.)
We can hone our memory, we can learn from our history. We can continue to build public opinion until it becomes a deafening roar...
We can reinvent civil disobedience in a million different ways. In other words, we can come up with a million ways of becoming a collective pain in the ass...
Our strategy should be not only to confront Empire, but to lay siege to it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness – and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we’re being brainwashed to believe.
The corporate relvolution will collapse if we refuse to busy what they are selling- their ideas, their version of history, their wars, their weapons, their notion of inevitability.
Remember this: We be many and they be few. They need us more than we need them.
Arundhati Roy, February 2003.
An Ordinary Person’s Guide to Empire
(This book is amazing.)
Monday, November 21, 2005
A journey ends as another begins.
said my goodbyes to everyone. someone unexpected cried (b/c i guess you never really know who notices you). packed up and headed to the airport: me and shiv, dharmesh, arch and Lakshmi, shiv's kids. boarded plane. laughed, cried and remembered the everythings over the past 15 months. fell asleep on Shiv on the flight to mumbai. bought expensive mumbai airport earrings b/c we could. hugged shiv, who has been my rock this year, goodbye. boarded flight to Frankfort, passed out. woke up sad: it finally hit that shiv and me, the journeys we've taken together for so long, have finally split ways. the woman next to me on the flight was from milano. practiced my italian- still on point- this cheered me up. baggage claim took an hour. I finally left the gate... hoping my mom remembered my flight number - i hadn't talked to her in over a week. scanned the sea of faces for someone familiar- no one. a few seconds go by... and then i hear my name, being screamed, on the other side of the partition. a good deal of my family is there... over 15 people. (I am glad that airport security is ok with this.) Next thing i know, there are balloons tied to me, flowers, a welcome home sign complete with old pictures of me when i had an 80's haircut (although, in my defense, it was the 80's back then). A tornado of hugs; I am loved. I am home.
It's great to be back.
It's great to be back.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Forward thinking
All of our dreams and hopes are placed on the shoulders of our youth. They must think, as we have, that we must plan changes not in terms of minutes, hours, weeks or years, but by generations.
Each generation takes one more step up the ladder to liberation and humanism. We made some changes to open those doors, now it’s your turn to keep them open. To study what has happened in history and what is taking place in the world today. Evaluate, figure out what is noble, what is truth, what has meaning? And then take your position as vanguard, the leaders, to use your professional skills and knowledge to change this society for the better. Never let the world change you. Change the world. It’s yours. - (quote by Rodolfo Corky Gonzales, Pics of Anup and G-rav)
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wouldn't you know; they don't put their mailing address on the website...
To _______, Head of Corporate Responsibility, McDonald’s Corporation:
I am an Indian-American born and raised in Chicago; I have been living and working in India for the past 15 months. I ate at the McDonald’s on Ashram Road in Ahmedabad, Gujarat for the first time yesterday (November 10, 2005). The food is exactly as I had remember at home, but I am absolutely shocked at the amount of packaging McDonald’s uses at one of their Indian franchises.
In a country plagued by a culture of littering and mismanaged garbage disposal, I am surprised and considerably disappointed at the amount of garbage your corporation is directly (and seemingly shamelessly) producing.
I understand that McDonald’s is not the only culprit, nor the greatest contributor to the huge amounts of waste produced in this city, country… even globally. But, as a part of coming into another country, and as a trailblazer in global marketing, you should set an example. You have a responsibility to not only set the high standard that I would hope you would hold yourself up to, but also a responsibility to understand how you can contribute to the betterment of a country beyond increasing your profit margins.
You have the resources, technology and capacity to find creative, resourceful ways to use much less packaging. The solution would likely also save money currently spent toward creating and disposing of the current amounts of packaging used. It would not hurt your brand; in fact, showing that you care for and respect the environment in which you work can only help your business.
I look forward to your reply and thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
RHS
(If anyone can get their hands on their corporate mailing address, can you pass it along?--> Thanks!)
I am an Indian-American born and raised in Chicago; I have been living and working in India for the past 15 months. I ate at the McDonald’s on Ashram Road in Ahmedabad, Gujarat for the first time yesterday (November 10, 2005). The food is exactly as I had remember at home, but I am absolutely shocked at the amount of packaging McDonald’s uses at one of their Indian franchises.
In a country plagued by a culture of littering and mismanaged garbage disposal, I am surprised and considerably disappointed at the amount of garbage your corporation is directly (and seemingly shamelessly) producing.
I understand that McDonald’s is not the only culprit, nor the greatest contributor to the huge amounts of waste produced in this city, country… even globally. But, as a part of coming into another country, and as a trailblazer in global marketing, you should set an example. You have a responsibility to not only set the high standard that I would hope you would hold yourself up to, but also a responsibility to understand how you can contribute to the betterment of a country beyond increasing your profit margins.
You have the resources, technology and capacity to find creative, resourceful ways to use much less packaging. The solution would likely also save money currently spent toward creating and disposing of the current amounts of packaging used. It would not hurt your brand; in fact, showing that you care for and respect the environment in which you work can only help your business.
I look forward to your reply and thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
RHS
(If anyone can get their hands on their corporate mailing address, can you pass it along?--> Thanks!)
Friday, November 04, 2005
Happy Freakin Diwali and Eid!!!
I can't even begin to explain how much is going through my mind right now.... overload. Sensory and otherwise. Diwali is inexplicably beautiful though. Rows of lit divas along every street. The work and design efforts put into rangoli despite it's inherently temporary-ness... new year rituals that finally make sense to me... (did I mention I can put a sari on by myself?!?!... meeeeep) I am all out of words... so I'll write about this crazy vivid dream I had a few nights ago (I get really excited when I dream in color)....
I am in Anytown, India, hitch hiking a ride home. I get a ride in a jeep; one of the men sitting next to me starts getting fresh, I make a scene, the driver kicks said guy off the jeep. Later, I end up at this guy (freshmaster funk)’s house because, apparently, I am really good friends with his daughter, who’s maybe 12. She is beautiful, despite her wild, tangled hair and her ragged clothing. She has an easy smile despite how shy she seems. Her mom has passed away long back, so it’s her, her father and her grandparents. I start talking to her about why she doesn’t go to school, and her father rushes her into the bathroom to take a bath. Then he comes up to me and asks me if I understand Urdu (the family is apparently Muslim). I tell him, yes, I understand it.... and that I also understand Hindi, Arabic and any other language he tries to use to tell his daughter that she can’t go to school because it is against their samaj (community). He says, ‘good, then we understand one another.’
(this is when it starts to get weird)
So then I am sitting silently in the main room with her grandparents. Her older cousin walks into the room and she starts doing somersaults in the air. I am wondering what in the world is going on; the grandparents don’t even look up. Then this girl, my friend, walks in, bathed and clean, but still in the same ragged clothes and the same tangled hair. The grandparents say, ‘Aren’t you going to school?’ Suddenly the girl starts spinning, hair flying all crazy (not scary; it looks a lot like a scene from Fantasia). When she finally stops spinning, she’s wearing thick, black lawyer glasses, hair pinned up, nicely dressed and ready, evidently, to leave for school. The cousin (somersaulter) is dressed and ready to go with her. Then the father walks in, and this same 'force' (who I assume is the girl’s mom) beats up the guy, similar to the last scene of Ghost, but not that bad- b/c I don’t like violent dreams…the grandparents don’t even look up.
Weird.
Then, in the space between asleep and awake, I have this thought: No matter how much work I do, in the end I’m only laying groundwork. The real changes are going to come from the people in the community themselves.
And I woke up. (I’m dreaming about my work. I’m in trouble.)
I am in Anytown, India, hitch hiking a ride home. I get a ride in a jeep; one of the men sitting next to me starts getting fresh, I make a scene, the driver kicks said guy off the jeep. Later, I end up at this guy (freshmaster funk)’s house because, apparently, I am really good friends with his daughter, who’s maybe 12. She is beautiful, despite her wild, tangled hair and her ragged clothing. She has an easy smile despite how shy she seems. Her mom has passed away long back, so it’s her, her father and her grandparents. I start talking to her about why she doesn’t go to school, and her father rushes her into the bathroom to take a bath. Then he comes up to me and asks me if I understand Urdu (the family is apparently Muslim). I tell him, yes, I understand it.... and that I also understand Hindi, Arabic and any other language he tries to use to tell his daughter that she can’t go to school because it is against their samaj (community). He says, ‘good, then we understand one another.’
(this is when it starts to get weird)
So then I am sitting silently in the main room with her grandparents. Her older cousin walks into the room and she starts doing somersaults in the air. I am wondering what in the world is going on; the grandparents don’t even look up. Then this girl, my friend, walks in, bathed and clean, but still in the same ragged clothes and the same tangled hair. The grandparents say, ‘Aren’t you going to school?’ Suddenly the girl starts spinning, hair flying all crazy (not scary; it looks a lot like a scene from Fantasia). When she finally stops spinning, she’s wearing thick, black lawyer glasses, hair pinned up, nicely dressed and ready, evidently, to leave for school. The cousin (somersaulter) is dressed and ready to go with her. Then the father walks in, and this same 'force' (who I assume is the girl’s mom) beats up the guy, similar to the last scene of Ghost, but not that bad- b/c I don’t like violent dreams…the grandparents don’t even look up.
Weird.
Then, in the space between asleep and awake, I have this thought: No matter how much work I do, in the end I’m only laying groundwork. The real changes are going to come from the people in the community themselves.
And I woke up. (I’m dreaming about my work. I’m in trouble.)
Friday, October 21, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
about change
“Every one of us wants to make a difference,” he says, “but the whole world conspires to tell you that you can’t — the prevailing messages are all about inaction and cynicism. I learned early in my life that not only can you make a difference, you don’t have a choice. You might think that as long as you’re not choosing to do bad, you’re not making things worse. But that’s not true. You’re always making a difference, one way or another, whether you acknowledge it or not.”
-->Andy Lipkis
-->Andy Lipkis
Friday, October 14, 2005
Healing
My grandfather has forever been one of the most self-sufficient, energetic individuals. My brother and I would have to run to keep up with him when we lived at his house in India; common knowledge for anyone that's ever met him.
Recently, he fell ill and needed an operation, yet a simultaneous heart attack/
stroke/ dangerously low blood sugar postponed it. My Dada being sick, or weak, is like the universe being flipped on its head, like rain falling up or fire being cold. Completely inconcievable.
Well, his health finally stabilized enough for him to be able to get his operation a day ago. I talked to him when he got home. He sounded like a rockstar... Happy and energetic and ready to take on the world. As always. The 80 year old I will be one day.
And, as though his recovery wasn't enough, when I asked him what he wanted for his upcoming 80th bday, he says,
Just come home soon. You comprise everything that makes me happy into one package.
The world's got nothing on me today.
Recently, he fell ill and needed an operation, yet a simultaneous heart attack/
stroke/ dangerously low blood sugar postponed it. My Dada being sick, or weak, is like the universe being flipped on its head, like rain falling up or fire being cold. Completely inconcievable.
Well, his health finally stabilized enough for him to be able to get his operation a day ago. I talked to him when he got home. He sounded like a rockstar... Happy and energetic and ready to take on the world. As always. The 80 year old I will be one day.
And, as though his recovery wasn't enough, when I asked him what he wanted for his upcoming 80th bday, he says,
Just come home soon. You comprise everything that makes me happy into one package.
The world's got nothing on me today.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Plugging back in
Ok. I apologize. The cell phone fell out of my pocket while riding a cab. Apparently, caught my friends' cell phone curse (who've dropped their phone in the toilet, the bathtub, walked into the ocean with it in their pocket, down flights of stairs....) :) No names will be mentioned to protect their honor, and chances at an eventual presidential campaign.
In any case, my phone is back in action. Same #. 9825503561.
Navrathri starts today: 9 nights of dancing... and, consequently, no sleep for a while. Ramadan starts tomorrow as well. Too excited.
I'm out.
In any case, my phone is back in action. Same #. 9825503561.
Navrathri starts today: 9 nights of dancing... and, consequently, no sleep for a while. Ramadan starts tomorrow as well. Too excited.
I'm out.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
tangent thoughts
In recently talking to one of my favorite creative geniuses, it came up that he reads this site periodically, and that 'it sounds like i've been on adventure after adventure.'
I got to thinking if that is how this webjournal comes off.
I talk about the tangible things I do b/c it's easier to have people understand the experience of being here (easier than trying to document my crazy mental paradigm shifts). And I've done some amazing things... broken out of my comfort zones so many times that the boundaries of 'comfort' have been redrawn, redefined...
I carried hundoes of water on my head. I cooked on an open fire, the flour I got milled in the next village over and the vegatables I had to walk 2 km to get. I washed my clothes by hand and lived on less money than many of the villagers themselves did. I slept under stars for most of the year; I also spent a night or two in the same room as an entire family and their cows, goats and rooster. But these are my adventures only because it is me doing it, and because it's different from what my everyday life looked like. This is not exotic for the people in my community. This is their life.
I imagine it would be like one of my Kutchi women coming to stay with me for a several months. She'd live with me, trying to fully immerse herself in my lifestyle. Then she would write to her people back home... something along the lines of "it is so exotic here. I rode in her blue honda accord to an actual gas station.... like the kind you see in those American movies. So crazy! Then I learned to fill the gas into the tank by myself! I slept with her traditional american music CD lulling us to sleep, with the calming hums of a fan on the ceiling and a pump that pushes air bubbles under water so fish can live in a small glass room. Then, we drove for twenty minutes to a store where they have *different flavors* of milk.... that is sold in *gallons!* Her family all lived in different rooms, some on different floors! They keep no animals and all of their food comes in boxes!" Our everydays are adventures to anyone who lives a different lifestyle.
When I get back home, I'm going to see if I can live my normal everydays like adventures.
I'm such a cheeseball. But we already established this long ago.
In other news:
1. I am coming home. Eventually. But I could definitely live here. There's an unparalleled beauty to this country. I think it might be something in the water. No worries tho. My ticket is confirmed. meeeeeeeeeeeeep.
I got to thinking if that is how this webjournal comes off.
I talk about the tangible things I do b/c it's easier to have people understand the experience of being here (easier than trying to document my crazy mental paradigm shifts). And I've done some amazing things... broken out of my comfort zones so many times that the boundaries of 'comfort' have been redrawn, redefined...
I carried hundoes of water on my head. I cooked on an open fire, the flour I got milled in the next village over and the vegatables I had to walk 2 km to get. I washed my clothes by hand and lived on less money than many of the villagers themselves did. I slept under stars for most of the year; I also spent a night or two in the same room as an entire family and their cows, goats and rooster. But these are my adventures only because it is me doing it, and because it's different from what my everyday life looked like. This is not exotic for the people in my community. This is their life.
I imagine it would be like one of my Kutchi women coming to stay with me for a several months. She'd live with me, trying to fully immerse herself in my lifestyle. Then she would write to her people back home... something along the lines of "it is so exotic here. I rode in her blue honda accord to an actual gas station.... like the kind you see in those American movies. So crazy! Then I learned to fill the gas into the tank by myself! I slept with her traditional american music CD lulling us to sleep, with the calming hums of a fan on the ceiling and a pump that pushes air bubbles under water so fish can live in a small glass room. Then, we drove for twenty minutes to a store where they have *different flavors* of milk.... that is sold in *gallons!* Her family all lived in different rooms, some on different floors! They keep no animals and all of their food comes in boxes!" Our everydays are adventures to anyone who lives a different lifestyle.
When I get back home, I'm going to see if I can live my normal everydays like adventures.
I'm such a cheeseball. But we already established this long ago.
In other news:
1. I am coming home. Eventually. But I could definitely live here. There's an unparalleled beauty to this country. I think it might be something in the water. No worries tho. My ticket is confirmed. meeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
my first phone in over a year. Holy jeebus.
new cell 98255 03561. Gujarat mobile number.
Going to Karnataka (near Bangalore) to drop off two new fellows (30 plus train hours with 2 artist/activists from circa Harlem. Fiesty as hell, super passionate. Should be great.) Will be back in action (i.e. my phone is back on) on on the morning of the 19th.
peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeace.
hey, btw, jen/tea/eeeeeeee, how was vegas?!?!? sometimes, i miss you guys so much that i can't see straight.... and then I remember jennaiya telling me to open my eyes ... and it's all ok. much love.
meeeeeep!
Going to Karnataka (near Bangalore) to drop off two new fellows (30 plus train hours with 2 artist/activists from circa Harlem. Fiesty as hell, super passionate. Should be great.) Will be back in action (i.e. my phone is back on) on on the morning of the 19th.
peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeace.
hey, btw, jen/tea/eeeeeeee, how was vegas?!?!? sometimes, i miss you guys so much that i can't see straight.... and then I remember jennaiya telling me to open my eyes ... and it's all ok. much love.
meeeeeep!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Saturday, September 03, 2005
the artist formerly known as Rups McSad
so, i'm officially Indicorps staff. Doing a whole bunch of really cool media stuff... but right now, just being there for the new fellows to adjust and prepare for their year.
In any case, the past few weeks have been insane. the last days of my project overlapped with my family coming in... had an amazing time.... then- editing the book w/ rish before he left... then to orientation.... as staff.
Everything just blurred into the next... which has been beautiful... but highly overwhelming. I need a walden pond.
ah well.
in any case, the overwhelmedness,
in addition to most of my fellows leaving ( besides Shiv, my new roommate, and Anup, an artist/architect in training who I'm doing sketches of India w/ every Sunday) ...
in addition to my family leaving...
had made me feel really sad and lonely recently... even though I'm surrounded by super inspiring and talented people.
Extremely sad.
Extremely lonely.
and then, my brother, who I thought absolutely *hated* coming to visit me here... puts this up on his webjournal:
"Well let's recap the summer. spent the first couple of months hanging out with Dan, Jim, Koz and my brother just watching movies and tearing up the town. Normally I would be playing baseball and hanging out with Suds, Kandarp, and Vish as we do every summer, but we sort of split up this time. Beginning of the summer I took this music class with my brother taught by two musicians from India. The premise of the class was to teach me to play my guitar (Western instrument) with my brothers Tablas (Eastern instrument). The class went well. They taught us a couple of songs that we could play together: Ragas, bhajans, shiznack like that. Don't worry non-Indian people you don't know what these things are, try typing it into GOOGLE. Other than these classes and driving my brother the first half of my summer was pretty routine. Family Picnic, birthday parties, summer barbecues, fireworks, all around good times.
From July 21st to August 17th I was in India to spend time with my beautiful and multitalented sister Rup.
Trip: We left on Thursday night, arrived in Switzerland 9 hours later, then another 5.5 hours we were in Kuwait, where our flight was delayed 12 hours- stayed in a sweet hotel in Kuwait and left for Mumbai in the morning, arrived that morning and left for Ahmdebad an hour or so later and Ahmdebad and drove 1.5 hours to Himetnager, where my grandfather owns a gorgeous 3 story home.
Stayed there the night and left for Ludiya (the village where my sister lived) in the morning. Rather than boring you with the whole breakdown i'll just sum up quickly. Let me preface this by saying I was sick before I left and this hectic travel schedule did not aid matters very much. For the first two weeks of the 3.5 weeks i was there i didn't feel completely normal.
Anyways, Ludiya was a very quiet and self-sustaining place. They lived off what they made and were extremely nice people. My sister's project was to empower the women in this community and enhance their sense of creativity by making them more aware of the sewing crafts they would make. I know I didn't describe that very well, but I'm not good with descriptions. Let me just say this- everyone I met there had the best things to say about Rup. She fit into this community completely. They all were drawn to her warmness and her personality, it was truly amazing to see. The love they had for her was very pure. At least from my point of view. After we left Kutch we split up for a while and went back to my dada's house. Where we watched some quality Scooby Doo cartoons dubbed into Hindi, which funny enough there are no hindi translations for "zoinks"
anyways after a couple of days we set off for the state of rajastan and travelete to three cities seeing the forts, palaces, and temples, and native people in these cities. Fun times, after that we just chilled around and did some shopping.
All in all the trip was very hectic and tiring but if I had to do it all over again I would do it. Being sick and all that shit was worth it to see the work Rup was doing and just spending time with her. It was wierd the first day the whole family was back together it was like we hadn't been apart for a second. There was no awkward silence or small talk, it was immediately back to those jokes, those laughs, those memories, that sense of family.
Well to recap India: if I actually told you how many miles we travelled during the entire trip your head would explode so I'll spare, let's just say it's a lot.
Rup and her work are both amazing, there aren't a lot of people who are brave enough to leave everything they know behind to help others. Could YOU? NO! you can't! maybe you can I don't know I'm just messing with you.
Illness: I'm fine now, I lost about 12 pounds on this trip, and I think I have cholera, but maybe I should stop diagnosing myself.
What I learned: That the People of India are very warm and inviting and extremely nice. Every person we would come across would want us to come over for food, and wouldn't take no for an answer. Everyone looked out for us while we were over there and they were all very generous. Even those who did not have that much were willing to invite us into their homes and treat us like family. It is something you just don't see here that often.
Also, being in India simplifies your life a little bit. You can't really take for granted all the little things like you can here to those little things become your primary worries. Things such as clean water, electricity, extreme heat, etc. Here these things are a given so we can overlook them and worry about other things. Over there they are not a given so they become the primary problems. So while I was there I noticed that I would enjoy simpler things like a cool breeze, or a star filled sky, or the company of loved ones... it was a very cool thing to experience. I know this probably does not make sense but it does to me so back off! all in all the trip was very educational, fun, and tiring and the same time, but mostly i had a good time... now it's time to go back to school and enjoy my final year at the University of Illinois. Time to go out with a bang.
To all my friends and family, especially those who are starting college or any other type of challenge in their life, I wish you the best of luck, and if visiting India has taught me anything it is that we are very blessed to have the opportunities we have and to not make the most of them would be an insult to those who do not have these opportunities. So take a step back sometime and think about how much you have and how blessed you are and try to truly enjoy life to the fullest and don't worry about the small things.
All the Best and Good Luck, MUCH LOVE -vimal-"
Suddenly, .... well, perhaps I'm not as unloved and alone as I thought. :)
In any case, the past few weeks have been insane. the last days of my project overlapped with my family coming in... had an amazing time.... then- editing the book w/ rish before he left... then to orientation.... as staff.
Everything just blurred into the next... which has been beautiful... but highly overwhelming. I need a walden pond.
ah well.
in any case, the overwhelmedness,
in addition to most of my fellows leaving ( besides Shiv, my new roommate, and Anup, an artist/architect in training who I'm doing sketches of India w/ every Sunday) ...
in addition to my family leaving...
had made me feel really sad and lonely recently... even though I'm surrounded by super inspiring and talented people.
Extremely sad.
Extremely lonely.
and then, my brother, who I thought absolutely *hated* coming to visit me here... puts this up on his webjournal:
"Well let's recap the summer. spent the first couple of months hanging out with Dan, Jim, Koz and my brother just watching movies and tearing up the town. Normally I would be playing baseball and hanging out with Suds, Kandarp, and Vish as we do every summer, but we sort of split up this time. Beginning of the summer I took this music class with my brother taught by two musicians from India. The premise of the class was to teach me to play my guitar (Western instrument) with my brothers Tablas (Eastern instrument). The class went well. They taught us a couple of songs that we could play together: Ragas, bhajans, shiznack like that. Don't worry non-Indian people you don't know what these things are, try typing it into GOOGLE. Other than these classes and driving my brother the first half of my summer was pretty routine. Family Picnic, birthday parties, summer barbecues, fireworks, all around good times.
From July 21st to August 17th I was in India to spend time with my beautiful and multitalented sister Rup.
Trip: We left on Thursday night, arrived in Switzerland 9 hours later, then another 5.5 hours we were in Kuwait, where our flight was delayed 12 hours- stayed in a sweet hotel in Kuwait and left for Mumbai in the morning, arrived that morning and left for Ahmdebad an hour or so later and Ahmdebad and drove 1.5 hours to Himetnager, where my grandfather owns a gorgeous 3 story home.
Stayed there the night and left for Ludiya (the village where my sister lived) in the morning. Rather than boring you with the whole breakdown i'll just sum up quickly. Let me preface this by saying I was sick before I left and this hectic travel schedule did not aid matters very much. For the first two weeks of the 3.5 weeks i was there i didn't feel completely normal.
Anyways, Ludiya was a very quiet and self-sustaining place. They lived off what they made and were extremely nice people. My sister's project was to empower the women in this community and enhance their sense of creativity by making them more aware of the sewing crafts they would make. I know I didn't describe that very well, but I'm not good with descriptions. Let me just say this- everyone I met there had the best things to say about Rup. She fit into this community completely. They all were drawn to her warmness and her personality, it was truly amazing to see. The love they had for her was very pure. At least from my point of view. After we left Kutch we split up for a while and went back to my dada's house. Where we watched some quality Scooby Doo cartoons dubbed into Hindi, which funny enough there are no hindi translations for "zoinks"
anyways after a couple of days we set off for the state of rajastan and travelete to three cities seeing the forts, palaces, and temples, and native people in these cities. Fun times, after that we just chilled around and did some shopping.
All in all the trip was very hectic and tiring but if I had to do it all over again I would do it. Being sick and all that shit was worth it to see the work Rup was doing and just spending time with her. It was wierd the first day the whole family was back together it was like we hadn't been apart for a second. There was no awkward silence or small talk, it was immediately back to those jokes, those laughs, those memories, that sense of family.
Well to recap India: if I actually told you how many miles we travelled during the entire trip your head would explode so I'll spare, let's just say it's a lot.
Rup and her work are both amazing, there aren't a lot of people who are brave enough to leave everything they know behind to help others. Could YOU? NO! you can't! maybe you can I don't know I'm just messing with you.
Illness: I'm fine now, I lost about 12 pounds on this trip, and I think I have cholera, but maybe I should stop diagnosing myself.
What I learned: That the People of India are very warm and inviting and extremely nice. Every person we would come across would want us to come over for food, and wouldn't take no for an answer. Everyone looked out for us while we were over there and they were all very generous. Even those who did not have that much were willing to invite us into their homes and treat us like family. It is something you just don't see here that often.
Also, being in India simplifies your life a little bit. You can't really take for granted all the little things like you can here to those little things become your primary worries. Things such as clean water, electricity, extreme heat, etc. Here these things are a given so we can overlook them and worry about other things. Over there they are not a given so they become the primary problems. So while I was there I noticed that I would enjoy simpler things like a cool breeze, or a star filled sky, or the company of loved ones... it was a very cool thing to experience. I know this probably does not make sense but it does to me so back off! all in all the trip was very educational, fun, and tiring and the same time, but mostly i had a good time... now it's time to go back to school and enjoy my final year at the University of Illinois. Time to go out with a bang.
To all my friends and family, especially those who are starting college or any other type of challenge in their life, I wish you the best of luck, and if visiting India has taught me anything it is that we are very blessed to have the opportunities we have and to not make the most of them would be an insult to those who do not have these opportunities. So take a step back sometime and think about how much you have and how blessed you are and try to truly enjoy life to the fullest and don't worry about the small things.
All the Best and Good Luck, MUCH LOVE -vimal-"
Suddenly, .... well, perhaps I'm not as unloved and alone as I thought. :)
Friday, August 26, 2005
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
story of my life. :)
and... the story of the day:
My family left. My fellows left. Super depressed. And on top of it all.. the cabs in town all went on strike yesterday... and so I explore the bus system. And get pickpocketed.
ugh.
frustrating b/c I *remember* thinking 'the zipper on my purse is broken, it'd be pretty easy for someone to swipe my wallet.' what do I do? put it in my purse anyway.
ugh, squared.
At this point, I am depressed AND have lost all faith in humanity.
Then,
I get a call from some guy telling me he found my wallet (i *know* I did not lose it) and wants to return it to me. I tell him to meet me where I am working... and my spirits begin to lift..
until rishi plants seeds of doubt into my head:
"rup, what if this guy was the one who *stole* your wallet, saw that you had no money (b/c I am flat broke), saw that you are foreign, and is now claiming to have found it so that he would have an excuse to talk to you... he'd be the good guy..."
Long story short, that was yesterday. I meet this guy at an intersection next to where I am working, who asks me all these questions about myself, and doesn't give me my wallet (he 'forgot' it at his house).
Screw the wallet. This story is over. I hate everything.
and... the story of the day:
My family left. My fellows left. Super depressed. And on top of it all.. the cabs in town all went on strike yesterday... and so I explore the bus system. And get pickpocketed.
ugh.
frustrating b/c I *remember* thinking 'the zipper on my purse is broken, it'd be pretty easy for someone to swipe my wallet.' what do I do? put it in my purse anyway.
ugh, squared.
At this point, I am depressed AND have lost all faith in humanity.
Then,
I get a call from some guy telling me he found my wallet (i *know* I did not lose it) and wants to return it to me. I tell him to meet me where I am working... and my spirits begin to lift..
until rishi plants seeds of doubt into my head:
"rup, what if this guy was the one who *stole* your wallet, saw that you had no money (b/c I am flat broke), saw that you are foreign, and is now claiming to have found it so that he would have an excuse to talk to you... he'd be the good guy..."
Long story short, that was yesterday. I meet this guy at an intersection next to where I am working, who asks me all these questions about myself, and doesn't give me my wallet (he 'forgot' it at his house).
Screw the wallet. This story is over. I hate everything.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
passion...
This is an email that I got from my girl leslieann a while back.. some wisdom from bino. He's talking about poetry.. but, from what I have learned this year, the institutionalization of expression and standardization of creativity applies to many of the arts. But really, the passion to get the truth/inspiration/beauty you see out into the world, to the people that are waiting for it, applies to any work, from music to physics, that you do. -rups
"why is fiction more appealing to the general public? why does poetry bring this image of a private club? what are poets thinking when they write? are they thinking someone will read their books and understand their work? or are they thinking, it doesnt matter, i write for myself?
the private club. more and more poetry are coming out of institutions, and more poets work in institutions as well. a poetry industrial complex. walls of higher learning. while learning should be encouraged, walls should not be built around it. i am not a big fan of this phenomenon, because i have always been afraid that institutional loyalty of poets may potentially veil the telling of the truth. the truth, the foundation of poetry. i also fear that poetry, being so academicized, stays inside the gates of institutions and not in the hands of the general reading public. poets read poets, and oftentimes these poets belong to the same academic circles. is there poetry for the people, poetry people can read and understand without feeling alienated by the text?
such a different life, being a fictionist and being a poet. i still cant, after all these years, profess that i am a poet without feeling self-righteous. i prefer to say, i also write poetry, after saying, im a writer, or a novelist. say, im a poet, and thats the end of conversation. poets seem to sit up on a pedestal somewhere, among the PhDs that no one could ever converse with. do poets dream of immortality such that they dont feel the urgency that their work must be shared and understood now? are they rembrandts who will not be understood in their lifetime but rediscovered as posthumous classics? do poets at all find the need to touch?
what is the truth?
fictionists and the reading public are two things that seem to be inseparable in publishing. poetry and the reading public are two things that dont belong in the same sentence. does poetry being of a gift economy mean that there is no need to find an audience? or is the joke-myth of 1000 poets reading each other true?
i think of the times of sappho of the island of lesbos, a woman poet in a ring of male dominated world. when poetry was a song. a song recited, a story told. that people gathered in their backyard and recited each other poems, young and old alike. nowadays, the poet stands at a podium and recites from up there, far from his audience. he is first introduced, with a bio as long as a poem itself. it is a bio that nobody really listens to, full of publications in journals nobody in the audience (but the fellow poets) know of. it is a list of accomplishments. because without such list, the poet is naked.
it brings me images of freires teacher-god. the poet-god. the one nobody understands. the dictator-poet, whose only connection is to himself. but perhaps the poet doesnt care so much about whether he is understood, because in fact, there is no need to be understood? it is poetry. and poetry does that to people.
in the classroom, the teacher is in the position of power. the power to change. to be understood. if the teacher doesnt want to be understood and continue in his act of dictation, students are disempowered. for this reason, i believe that the poet also possesses this power. i cant leave the responsibility to the people to reach out to poetry. it should be the poet reaching out.
which brings me to fiction. bad fiction is work that nobody understands. if a story cannot communicate on the gut-level, it is bad work, very simple. fiction is someone sitting next to you on a long subway ride trying to tell you a story that hopefully you will grasp without feeling the need to get off at the next stop. if a work of fiction cannot do the fundamentals of storytelling, it is bad work.
is there bad poetry these days?
i want to sit in a circle, with a poet among us, a poet who will read us a few of his poems, a poet who will try very hard to make sure we are with him through the process of sharing, a poet who is sitting on the ground with us. i want this circle to be many circles in the world. i want to see poetry shared this way. i want it given out, in pieces of paper, pasted on walls. i want it on the subway so the morning workers can be inspired by a few beautiful lyrical lines. i want it outside the academia so that it wont collect webs in their libraries. i want it to be free, and distributed. i want it on coffee cups. i want it on tshirts. i want poetry to be turned into music so people can sing, sing, sing poems.
i want publishing poetry not to be a competition among poets. i want it out of the contest venue. i want poetry to be written because it has to be written, not because a book needs to be finished. i want it to be written because it has to be written not because a promotion is needed.
i want it to be written because people are waiting and patiently waiting to read them. i want poetry to be all about the truth, and nothing, oh nothing but the truth.
-----
Oh, and I have decided to stay back in India for a few more months....
"why is fiction more appealing to the general public? why does poetry bring this image of a private club? what are poets thinking when they write? are they thinking someone will read their books and understand their work? or are they thinking, it doesnt matter, i write for myself?
the private club. more and more poetry are coming out of institutions, and more poets work in institutions as well. a poetry industrial complex. walls of higher learning. while learning should be encouraged, walls should not be built around it. i am not a big fan of this phenomenon, because i have always been afraid that institutional loyalty of poets may potentially veil the telling of the truth. the truth, the foundation of poetry. i also fear that poetry, being so academicized, stays inside the gates of institutions and not in the hands of the general reading public. poets read poets, and oftentimes these poets belong to the same academic circles. is there poetry for the people, poetry people can read and understand without feeling alienated by the text?
such a different life, being a fictionist and being a poet. i still cant, after all these years, profess that i am a poet without feeling self-righteous. i prefer to say, i also write poetry, after saying, im a writer, or a novelist. say, im a poet, and thats the end of conversation. poets seem to sit up on a pedestal somewhere, among the PhDs that no one could ever converse with. do poets dream of immortality such that they dont feel the urgency that their work must be shared and understood now? are they rembrandts who will not be understood in their lifetime but rediscovered as posthumous classics? do poets at all find the need to touch?
what is the truth?
fictionists and the reading public are two things that seem to be inseparable in publishing. poetry and the reading public are two things that dont belong in the same sentence. does poetry being of a gift economy mean that there is no need to find an audience? or is the joke-myth of 1000 poets reading each other true?
i think of the times of sappho of the island of lesbos, a woman poet in a ring of male dominated world. when poetry was a song. a song recited, a story told. that people gathered in their backyard and recited each other poems, young and old alike. nowadays, the poet stands at a podium and recites from up there, far from his audience. he is first introduced, with a bio as long as a poem itself. it is a bio that nobody really listens to, full of publications in journals nobody in the audience (but the fellow poets) know of. it is a list of accomplishments. because without such list, the poet is naked.
it brings me images of freires teacher-god. the poet-god. the one nobody understands. the dictator-poet, whose only connection is to himself. but perhaps the poet doesnt care so much about whether he is understood, because in fact, there is no need to be understood? it is poetry. and poetry does that to people.
in the classroom, the teacher is in the position of power. the power to change. to be understood. if the teacher doesnt want to be understood and continue in his act of dictation, students are disempowered. for this reason, i believe that the poet also possesses this power. i cant leave the responsibility to the people to reach out to poetry. it should be the poet reaching out.
which brings me to fiction. bad fiction is work that nobody understands. if a story cannot communicate on the gut-level, it is bad work, very simple. fiction is someone sitting next to you on a long subway ride trying to tell you a story that hopefully you will grasp without feeling the need to get off at the next stop. if a work of fiction cannot do the fundamentals of storytelling, it is bad work.
is there bad poetry these days?
i want to sit in a circle, with a poet among us, a poet who will read us a few of his poems, a poet who will try very hard to make sure we are with him through the process of sharing, a poet who is sitting on the ground with us. i want this circle to be many circles in the world. i want to see poetry shared this way. i want it given out, in pieces of paper, pasted on walls. i want it on the subway so the morning workers can be inspired by a few beautiful lyrical lines. i want it outside the academia so that it wont collect webs in their libraries. i want it to be free, and distributed. i want it on coffee cups. i want it on tshirts. i want poetry to be turned into music so people can sing, sing, sing poems.
i want publishing poetry not to be a competition among poets. i want it out of the contest venue. i want poetry to be written because it has to be written, not because a book needs to be finished. i want it to be written because it has to be written not because a promotion is needed.
i want it to be written because people are waiting and patiently waiting to read them. i want poetry to be all about the truth, and nothing, oh nothing but the truth.
-----
Oh, and I have decided to stay back in India for a few more months....
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
"man, macguyver could fix all of India's geo-political problems with a toothpick."
- my brother, vimz.
yep, still here. family's in town... crazy running around. will update soon. ...
real quick tho- Anand shah and Vikas both just got engaged!!! WTF?!?!?!? Congrats!!
AND nathaniel is in INDIA. YAY!!!
BUT- I don't currently have a ph # to be reached at... but soon... maybe.... meeeeep.
:) PEEEEEEEEEEEACE
yep, still here. family's in town... crazy running around. will update soon. ...
real quick tho- Anand shah and Vikas both just got engaged!!! WTF?!?!?!? Congrats!!
AND nathaniel is in INDIA. YAY!!!
BUT- I don't currently have a ph # to be reached at... but soon... maybe.... meeeeep.
:) PEEEEEEEEEEEACE
Thursday, July 14, 2005
A voice cannot carry the lips and tongue that gave it wings; alone must it seek the ether.
- kahlil gibran
Kahlil and I have grown extremely close recently. I've read four of his books in the last few days. Man's a genius. Poet on a different plane.
Anyhow, quick question shot into space...
do you think it's possible to live without regrets? Take it to mean what you will. But I'm wondering what people think.
...
I've been trying to make a conscious effort to let my mind visualize how I want my future to look .. and, as a strange side effect, I've been having some *crazy* dreams. The cool thing is that my dreams will usually finish off the things I'm thinking about while I'm awake- except I'm not controlling my dreams and they're super vivid. Try it. It sounds hokey, i know, but man do I wake up happy.
:)
My parents and brothers are going to be here in less than 2 weeks! So excited. My uncle and his family may come too... meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
---------
and... kote swiped his mom's mobile... so you actually *can* get ahold of me until the 26th of July. Gujarat mobile 987968871.
Kahlil and I have grown extremely close recently. I've read four of his books in the last few days. Man's a genius. Poet on a different plane.
Anyhow, quick question shot into space...
do you think it's possible to live without regrets? Take it to mean what you will. But I'm wondering what people think.
...
I've been trying to make a conscious effort to let my mind visualize how I want my future to look .. and, as a strange side effect, I've been having some *crazy* dreams. The cool thing is that my dreams will usually finish off the things I'm thinking about while I'm awake- except I'm not controlling my dreams and they're super vivid. Try it. It sounds hokey, i know, but man do I wake up happy.
:)
My parents and brothers are going to be here in less than 2 weeks! So excited. My uncle and his family may come too... meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
---------
and... kote swiped his mom's mobile... so you actually *can* get ahold of me until the 26th of July. Gujarat mobile 987968871.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
speechless... and then some.
so many things to say...
first and foremost- my brother is now 21! yeah, you heard right. t-w-e-n-t-y o-n-e. and I am a across an ocean. on a scale from 1 to jerkofasister I am pretty high up there. In any case, I love you vimz, Happy Birthday!
We had our exhibition in the village.... absolute madness. I don't think I'll be able to do complete sentences ... so good luck:
setting up the space
*painted the space... required going out into the desert with some kids, collecting rocks, smashing them, soaking them in water and painting with the clay that's created (!!!). Deep marroons and white, gray, ... a yellow that we couldn't find....
*a guy from northern England, Bipin, came to help us out. The boy is amazing, a godsend....
the story begins with a freak downpour 2 days before the event. My broken toes and I need to get to the other side of the village but a river (!!) has suddenly formed (the soil here doesn't absorb water) bisecting the village. 2 men insist on walking on either side of me b/c they're afraid I'll get swept up in the current... and I have to take off my shoes 1/2 way across b/c they keep getting stuck in the mud... so, of course, I hurt my foot again (it was numb by the end of the day.) So anyway, Bipin, ends up finishing the paint job, helps the tent guy set up ... finds a woman to help clean & fill water .. .. all while fighting off a goat who kept coming in and eating our supplies.... :) He's was lifesaver I tell ya, with a capital L and three v's.
the event
the good
*the women sold over 10,000 rps. worth of their work- every embroidery design, every color palate, every product design, and every price was a conscious choice of the woman artisan who created it.... (which added to the 40,000 rps of the 1st exhibition, they've collective generated 1/2 a lakh through their work).
*the Hindu and Muslim women got to meet for the 2nd time post earthquake- they had combined meetings (some self initiated), some women presented the exhibition to the women who weren't able to come, they spent 2 days hanging out together... :)
*the exhibition panels and permanent collection are ready for presentation to all of the area design schools as well as development and handicraft NGO's
*some of the women are taking up the initiative to have their own exhibition in 2 wks (w/ minimal to none of our help)
the bad
*a Muslim leader tried to shut down the entire event b/c apparently we had gotten involved in some sort of power play btw a village elder and the village sirpanch (a govt representative). Many of the teenage women had to leave to save face.
the ugly
*a brother-in-law of a Muslim woman who had attended both days of the event suddenly came to the event and began to hit the woman for attending- she ran home and he walked after her... (I still can't even process it- it all went down so fast... and right in front of me... )
...
after it happened, I had a conversation with the other women and girls from her village...the brother in law apparently hits her often. I told them they should go straight home if that was something that might happen to them. They said no, but were worried that he might come back (for me (!))(no worries, I was in no danger whatever). But I did tell them that I would rather he came after me than her. ....
which is when one of my favorite little girls, Noori, about 11 years old- super sweet and usually really quiet and shy, says 'rup, if he ever tried to lay a finger on you, every woman and girl here would stand up and chase him away.'
____________________________________________
it's strange to see how close I've come to nature out here...
I notice things like the phase of the moon... or changes in the wind or changes in the humidity and I find myself praying for rain so their farms will grow...
in any case,
the rainy season is approaching, the heat is lightening up (which means tourists will start arriving again), dates and apples and spinach are back in season.... it's all a flashback to how it was when I had first arrived here.
The seasons have fully circled back to one... signaling that this fellowship, my year, is almost over.
Holy. God.
first and foremost- my brother is now 21! yeah, you heard right. t-w-e-n-t-y o-n-e. and I am a across an ocean. on a scale from 1 to jerkofasister I am pretty high up there. In any case, I love you vimz, Happy Birthday!
We had our exhibition in the village.... absolute madness. I don't think I'll be able to do complete sentences ... so good luck:
setting up the space
*painted the space... required going out into the desert with some kids, collecting rocks, smashing them, soaking them in water and painting with the clay that's created (!!!). Deep marroons and white, gray, ... a yellow that we couldn't find....
*a guy from northern England, Bipin, came to help us out. The boy is amazing, a godsend....
the story begins with a freak downpour 2 days before the event. My broken toes and I need to get to the other side of the village but a river (!!) has suddenly formed (the soil here doesn't absorb water) bisecting the village. 2 men insist on walking on either side of me b/c they're afraid I'll get swept up in the current... and I have to take off my shoes 1/2 way across b/c they keep getting stuck in the mud... so, of course, I hurt my foot again (it was numb by the end of the day.) So anyway, Bipin, ends up finishing the paint job, helps the tent guy set up ... finds a woman to help clean & fill water .. .. all while fighting off a goat who kept coming in and eating our supplies.... :) He's was lifesaver I tell ya, with a capital L and three v's.
the event
the good
*the women sold over 10,000 rps. worth of their work- every embroidery design, every color palate, every product design, and every price was a conscious choice of the woman artisan who created it.... (which added to the 40,000 rps of the 1st exhibition, they've collective generated 1/2 a lakh through their work).
*the Hindu and Muslim women got to meet for the 2nd time post earthquake- they had combined meetings (some self initiated), some women presented the exhibition to the women who weren't able to come, they spent 2 days hanging out together... :)
*the exhibition panels and permanent collection are ready for presentation to all of the area design schools as well as development and handicraft NGO's
*some of the women are taking up the initiative to have their own exhibition in 2 wks (w/ minimal to none of our help)
the bad
*a Muslim leader tried to shut down the entire event b/c apparently we had gotten involved in some sort of power play btw a village elder and the village sirpanch (a govt representative). Many of the teenage women had to leave to save face.
the ugly
*a brother-in-law of a Muslim woman who had attended both days of the event suddenly came to the event and began to hit the woman for attending- she ran home and he walked after her... (I still can't even process it- it all went down so fast... and right in front of me... )
...
after it happened, I had a conversation with the other women and girls from her village...the brother in law apparently hits her often. I told them they should go straight home if that was something that might happen to them. They said no, but were worried that he might come back (for me (!))(no worries, I was in no danger whatever). But I did tell them that I would rather he came after me than her. ....
which is when one of my favorite little girls, Noori, about 11 years old- super sweet and usually really quiet and shy, says 'rup, if he ever tried to lay a finger on you, every woman and girl here would stand up and chase him away.'
____________________________________________
it's strange to see how close I've come to nature out here...
I notice things like the phase of the moon... or changes in the wind or changes in the humidity and I find myself praying for rain so their farms will grow...
in any case,
the rainy season is approaching, the heat is lightening up (which means tourists will start arriving again), dates and apples and spinach are back in season.... it's all a flashback to how it was when I had first arrived here.
The seasons have fully circled back to one... signaling that this fellowship, my year, is almost over.
Holy. God.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
a small addendum
I *sincerely* appreciate everyone remembering my birthday, even as I'm so far out of sight and out of mind. Yay! It could've easily snowballed into a pitiful day. But it didn't, and for that, I thank you. Much love.
Ok, so I won't name any names...
Someone... actually one of my all time favorite people ever... calls my house, talks to my parents on my birthday.... (the following is a realtime transcript of the conversation):
unnamed friend: I'm probably moving out of Chicago.
my mom (joking around) : why? you got a boyfriend?
unnamed friend (not joking around) : yeah, actually, that is why.
my mom (shocked) : really? does rups have a secret boyfriend too?
unnamed friend: I'm probably moving out of Chicago.
my mom (joking around) : why? you got a boyfriend?
unnamed friend (not joking around) : yeah, actually, that is why.
my mom (shocked) : really? does rups have a secret boyfriend too?
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Saturday, June 18, 2005
double take
Everyone up on this piece knows I got malaria, right? Got it *twice* in the first half of the year. That was lots of fun.
Then, 2 months ago, I broke a toe playing ultimate frisbee... which, apparently, wasn't good enough for me; we just went to an adventure retreat to Panchmari, MP, where I fall out of a mango tree and manage to break three toes (including rebreaking the original)! Gwah!!!!
This year is just too much. But, no worries. I am fine. :)
In other news, I just went rappelling off a cliff (yes, before, the tree fall). Scariest physical thing I have ever, ever done. I didn't want to do it when I got to the top...
(this year has taught me that I have trust issues with letting myself free fall backwards)
but the guy up top literally nudges me off the peak to a point that I can't climb back up...
And the only option left was down.
I almost passed out...
but, man, when I finally hit the ground, I felt like the strongest woman ever.
On a lighter note, I had been aching to go swimming for a long while now. Living where I am, it proves a bit difficult to always have drinking water, let alone to go swimming.
But, in MP, we hiked to a waterfall. The others literally had to drag me out. I was so satisfied.
****
6 weeks left in the fellowship --> the countdown begins. Holy jeebus.
****
To my poets:
I'm gonna miss this year's VONA!
Noooooooooooooo!!!
I am really missin you guys and our collective voice. I know y'all are still writing and the thought makes me really happy. I've been meaning to get some of the work I've done this year out to you guys, but my net access, as you can imagine, has been minimal.
However, I have gotten some articles published in random places. I actually just found out that one just got published in a newspaper called India Abroad. It's a gradual process, but it's a start.
Much love. Chase the things that inspire you and keep writing. I'm definitely thinking of you guys.
I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for where I am closed,
I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.
-- Rilke (from the Book of Hours)
Then, 2 months ago, I broke a toe playing ultimate frisbee... which, apparently, wasn't good enough for me; we just went to an adventure retreat to Panchmari, MP, where I fall out of a mango tree and manage to break three toes (including rebreaking the original)! Gwah!!!!
This year is just too much. But, no worries. I am fine. :)
In other news, I just went rappelling off a cliff (yes, before, the tree fall). Scariest physical thing I have ever, ever done. I didn't want to do it when I got to the top...
(this year has taught me that I have trust issues with letting myself free fall backwards)
but the guy up top literally nudges me off the peak to a point that I can't climb back up...
And the only option left was down.
I almost passed out...
but, man, when I finally hit the ground, I felt like the strongest woman ever.
On a lighter note, I had been aching to go swimming for a long while now. Living where I am, it proves a bit difficult to always have drinking water, let alone to go swimming.
But, in MP, we hiked to a waterfall. The others literally had to drag me out. I was so satisfied.
****
6 weeks left in the fellowship --> the countdown begins. Holy jeebus.
****
To my poets:
I'm gonna miss this year's VONA!
Noooooooooooooo!!!
I am really missin you guys and our collective voice. I know y'all are still writing and the thought makes me really happy. I've been meaning to get some of the work I've done this year out to you guys, but my net access, as you can imagine, has been minimal.
However, I have gotten some articles published in random places. I actually just found out that one just got published in a newspaper called India Abroad. It's a gradual process, but it's a start.
Much love. Chase the things that inspire you and keep writing. I'm definitely thinking of you guys.
I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for where I am closed,
I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.
-- Rilke (from the Book of Hours)
You should go...
.. this guy spoke at our orientation- he's intense and super versed in, well, building bridges. And, he's in town on my birthday (you didn't forget did you?!)
Anyhow, Vimz especially, you'd like him. Go if you can:
The Coalition for Building Bridges of Understanding
Cordially invites you to a meeting and discussion with Shri Harsh Mander
On Friday, June 24, 2005, 6:45 PM, At Lincolnwood City Hall, 6900 N. Lincoln Avenue, Lincolnwood. Dinner will be provided. Mr. Mander is a strong voice in India for social justice, pluralism, religious tolerance, communal harmony and the rule of law. He is a respected activist, a well-known public speaker and a reputed author. He was awarded the Rajiv Gandhi National Sadbhavana Award for peace work, and the M.A.Thomas National Human Rights Award in 2002. Mr. Mander will talk about strengthening Indian democracy and promoting social Justice in this inter-active meeting. Please join us for a lively discussion.
For more information call: (630) 971-9873
Anyhow, Vimz especially, you'd like him. Go if you can:
The Coalition for Building Bridges of Understanding
Cordially invites you to a meeting and discussion with Shri Harsh Mander
On Friday, June 24, 2005, 6:45 PM, At Lincolnwood City Hall, 6900 N. Lincoln Avenue, Lincolnwood. Dinner will be provided. Mr. Mander is a strong voice in India for social justice, pluralism, religious tolerance, communal harmony and the rule of law. He is a respected activist, a well-known public speaker and a reputed author. He was awarded the Rajiv Gandhi National Sadbhavana Award for peace work, and the M.A.Thomas National Human Rights Award in 2002. Mr. Mander will talk about strengthening Indian democracy and promoting social Justice in this inter-active meeting. Please join us for a lively discussion.
For more information call: (630) 971-9873
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still.
For once on the face of the earth
let's not speak in any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victory with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I'll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
-- Pablo Neruda
and we will all keep still.
For once on the face of the earth
let's not speak in any language,
let's stop for one second,
and not move our arms so much.
It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines,
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.
Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would look at his hurt hands.
Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victory with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.
What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.
If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.
Now I'll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.
-- Pablo Neruda
Monday, June 06, 2005
culture shock x 298739483984273984 =
this moment. Ask me where I am.
Yesterday, I finished errands ... walked out to to the farthest reaches of the villages...mid afternoon... 120+ degrees. ...
EEEEES HOT OUT HERE!!!
... then we hop a jeep with no doors and blow through a sand storm to a village about 25 km away. It's the village of this super sweet man that works with us. His son is getting married in 2 days; so we congradulate the groom before we head out of town for two weeks on business. (writing our research paper, then a retreat in Madhya Pradesh)
Point of ramblings:
Yesterday, at this time, I was pulling through villages in the midafternoon desert heat and sandstorms....
Today, I am writing a research paper on my laptop. I'm in a coffee shop in big city Ahmedabad. With wireless internet access. With an apple-walnut protein shake ( it's soooo good...). In air conditioning!!! And the things on the menu... things such as macchiatos or red bull or a brownie with ice cream?!?!?. Whoa.
Can we say culture shock?
.. yet at the same time, it's a total flashback to college. Cept the coffee here is better. As is the scene out the window.
Ok, my five day deadline on this paper looms. Must get back to work. Much love.
Yesterday, I finished errands ... walked out to to the farthest reaches of the villages...mid afternoon... 120+ degrees. ...
EEEEES HOT OUT HERE!!!
... then we hop a jeep with no doors and blow through a sand storm to a village about 25 km away. It's the village of this super sweet man that works with us. His son is getting married in 2 days; so we congradulate the groom before we head out of town for two weeks on business. (writing our research paper, then a retreat in Madhya Pradesh)
Point of ramblings:
Yesterday, at this time, I was pulling through villages in the midafternoon desert heat and sandstorms....
Today, I am writing a research paper on my laptop. I'm in a coffee shop in big city Ahmedabad. With wireless internet access. With an apple-walnut protein shake ( it's soooo good...). In air conditioning!!! And the things on the menu... things such as macchiatos or red bull or a brownie with ice cream?!?!?. Whoa.
Can we say culture shock?
.. yet at the same time, it's a total flashback to college. Cept the coffee here is better. As is the scene out the window.
Ok, my five day deadline on this paper looms. Must get back to work. Much love.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
spring clean up
translation? my email is not cooperating...
so i'm responding on this mofo, my link to the world back home.
My brother is officially a senior in college!!!! I'm so proud that i'm blushing. Yay, Vimz! (Did you ever get the package I sent?... make sure you set up forwarding your mail to home @ the post office.) I'm so excited to see you guys in July!!!
Jennaiya!!! You owe me 75435425 punches in the nose. Your birthday came and it went and I was too far removed from calendars to know. Aaaa! Please, forgive me. Happy Birthday Babydoll! Btw, you have yet to send a mailing address.. ; send your cell # too. My email is still (mywholename)@gmail.com. It should be working fine when the computers here aren't throwing temper tantrums. :) Give our corners and Mama G a huge hug for me.
Robyn!! Happy freakin Bday to you too!!!
Aditya, i know that picture isn't so great. But broke ass!?! I'd like to see how much of a rockstar *you* look like after a year of living like the salt of the earth in the desert. :P
Nikhil- the CD's and magazines rock! Thank you sooooooo much! I put the 1st CD in and homesickness washed over me like no one's business.... but in a good way. :) Totally made my week. Thank you!
Hardyduss, I miss you tons too. Congrats on finishing pharm school! You should celebrate--- come visit me! I guarantee you won't regret it. It's amazingly beautiful out here. And there's 2 bicycles and on open desert horizon with our names on them. ;)
*****************************************************
Now, down to business. This fellowship is over in 2.5 months. I have a huge decision in front of me. Anand, Indicorps founder, wants me to stay another year on a paid PR position. Awesome opportunity- writing, putting together a collective book and videos, counseling projects, traveling... it would be amazing. And it would put together a lot of the pieces for me.... laying an amazing foundation for the things I want to get into when I get back... (and I would have time to apply to grad school)
There's also an opening at UNESCO (i.e. the united nations!!) that this project has given me the perfect entry for. It's kind of funny how life gives you exactly what you ask from it. I've been wanting to work for the UN since I was in high school. ... and now there's an opportunity that is punching me in the face: "here I am. Exactly what you said you wanted. An international career. In the field of art. Empowering communities. Falling asleep at night *knowing* you're doing something that matters. Something that fits."
So the problem? I am ready to come home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. My brothers, the most important thing to me ever, are growing up without me. Quite literally, a 16th bday, a 21st bday, a driver's license (!), a senior in college. My mom is the president of our samaj. my dad is now running daily (!). My friends are all at some crazy amazing turning points. And the first corners' trip is planned for this sept. Home is pulling me back relentlessly.
But I think I need some time to readjust. I need to stay in India a while. To unromanticize the idea of India in my head. Because, realistically, India is not the adventure that I have been on this past year. It's a nation like any other, with a wide disparity btw socio-economic classes. It's got a highly standardized, globalized urban yuppie city culture (my favorite... ummm... right....). But it's also got masses of people who live on very little, who are mostly illiterate, surviving on the strengths they have, surviving on 'whatever God gives them'. Neither end of the spectrum is bad, I've come to realize. It's all in the eye of the beholder. India's got a whole lot of character and beauty if you know what you are looking for.
Anyway, I am considering staying (a few months max). It's still a debate at this point. Questions/ comments/ concerns? Email me. or call.
Much love.
PEACE.
so i'm responding on this mofo, my link to the world back home.
My brother is officially a senior in college!!!! I'm so proud that i'm blushing. Yay, Vimz! (Did you ever get the package I sent?... make sure you set up forwarding your mail to home @ the post office.) I'm so excited to see you guys in July!!!
Jennaiya!!! You owe me 75435425 punches in the nose. Your birthday came and it went and I was too far removed from calendars to know. Aaaa! Please, forgive me. Happy Birthday Babydoll! Btw, you have yet to send a mailing address.. ; send your cell # too. My email is still (mywholename)@gmail.com. It should be working fine when the computers here aren't throwing temper tantrums. :) Give our corners and Mama G a huge hug for me.
Robyn!! Happy freakin Bday to you too!!!
Aditya, i know that picture isn't so great. But broke ass!?! I'd like to see how much of a rockstar *you* look like after a year of living like the salt of the earth in the desert. :P
Nikhil- the CD's and magazines rock! Thank you sooooooo much! I put the 1st CD in and homesickness washed over me like no one's business.... but in a good way. :) Totally made my week. Thank you!
Hardyduss, I miss you tons too. Congrats on finishing pharm school! You should celebrate--- come visit me! I guarantee you won't regret it. It's amazingly beautiful out here. And there's 2 bicycles and on open desert horizon with our names on them. ;)
*****************************************************
Now, down to business. This fellowship is over in 2.5 months. I have a huge decision in front of me. Anand, Indicorps founder, wants me to stay another year on a paid PR position. Awesome opportunity- writing, putting together a collective book and videos, counseling projects, traveling... it would be amazing. And it would put together a lot of the pieces for me.... laying an amazing foundation for the things I want to get into when I get back... (and I would have time to apply to grad school)
There's also an opening at UNESCO (i.e. the united nations!!) that this project has given me the perfect entry for. It's kind of funny how life gives you exactly what you ask from it. I've been wanting to work for the UN since I was in high school. ... and now there's an opportunity that is punching me in the face: "here I am. Exactly what you said you wanted. An international career. In the field of art. Empowering communities. Falling asleep at night *knowing* you're doing something that matters. Something that fits."
So the problem? I am ready to come home. I miss my family. I miss my friends. My brothers, the most important thing to me ever, are growing up without me. Quite literally, a 16th bday, a 21st bday, a driver's license (!), a senior in college. My mom is the president of our samaj. my dad is now running daily (!). My friends are all at some crazy amazing turning points. And the first corners' trip is planned for this sept. Home is pulling me back relentlessly.
But I think I need some time to readjust. I need to stay in India a while. To unromanticize the idea of India in my head. Because, realistically, India is not the adventure that I have been on this past year. It's a nation like any other, with a wide disparity btw socio-economic classes. It's got a highly standardized, globalized urban yuppie city culture (my favorite... ummm... right....). But it's also got masses of people who live on very little, who are mostly illiterate, surviving on the strengths they have, surviving on 'whatever God gives them'. Neither end of the spectrum is bad, I've come to realize. It's all in the eye of the beholder. India's got a whole lot of character and beauty if you know what you are looking for.
Anyway, I am considering staying (a few months max). It's still a debate at this point. Questions/ comments/ concerns? Email me. or call.
Much love.
PEACE.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Breathe in,
breathe out. Aaaaa....
so many things to say.
Ok, first things first. My dada is feeling better. Still in the hospital, but stable. Yay! *sigh of relief* Because he had come to visit me a few months earlier, the people in my village keep asking how he's doing, how he's feeling. Now that is community. :) Someone pass him word that everyone on this end is pulling for him. Everyone, including people he has yet to meet.
Next, someone give my two brothers a big hug from me. I miss them so much.
And Mom for mom's day. Sorry to be so far!
....
Now, I think I might notice this more than everyone else who is 'wrapped all up in it' (whereas I am a bit removed for the moment.) Life is unbelievable. Everyone I know is in an amazing transition right now. And b/c my contact w/ ppl is fewer and farther btw, I can SEE how much the people I love are growing. It is an INCREDIBLE thing to notice.
---> this realization begins with some great news. Angela Patel, who, incidently, was *convinced* that she would never make it through high school, is graduating with a Masters in Social Work from Colombia. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My baby's growin up!!! Someone hug her for me. (Then kick her as hard as you can.) I am so proud of you beta!
....
As for me, I'm doin ok. My toe is healing (I got an Xray taken finally, and it's going to be fine.... btw, I have the cutest toe bones evah!) *wink*
and...
I HELD MY FIRST ART EXHIBITION EVER! Such an overwhelming experience, I don't know where to begin. We convinced the village men to let 20 of their women come out to Ahmedbad to be a part of their first exhibition of their work. THEY CAME!!! 20 women, who had never left their village before, came out to big city A'bad. We wanted them to see for themselves, the buzz that has been created over artisans reclaiming ownership of their craft.
We did it all....overnight bus, a roller coaster, meeting the Gujarat minister of education, interacting with artists, designers and shop owners, going to department stores, high end clothing stores, out for ice cream, downtown, a movie.... 3 days of craziness. THE MEN AGREED (on the condition of 4 male escorts from the village.) We also took 4 boys from the villages, who are super promising at their studies, to enroll them at a great boarding school in A'bad. The publicity was unreal: articles in the Times of India, Mumbai Samachar, Divya Baskar AND, randomly enough, the Sunday London Times.
Now, here's the excitingest part. Anyone read the tipping point by malcolm Gladwell? It's about how movements are started and how they gain momentum. Basically, a whole lot of groundwork is laid, and then it just takes one small trigger to tip the scale. I have yet to see if I am getting ahead of myself, but I think we hit it. The difference in their cooperation, their understanding, the DESIGNS and QUALITY of their work is UNFUCKINBELIEVABLE. (excuse the language- i am too excited) A popular motif in their last piece was peacocks, because they saw peacocks roaming around for the first time! And suddenly, the women are thinking about their work. They are drawing inspiration from their surroundings, from their experiences, from their lives- they are evolving their traditional art themselves. They have ready replies for WHY they chose a particular (motif, color palate, spacing, layout) anything.
Sorry if this is rambling. I'm on a huge high right now. This is what they are talking about when they are talking about empowerment. Letting the people reclaim who they already are.
The majority of the handicraft work done in India is all about 'reviving tradtional art' via income generation. ... i.e. giving the women pre stenciled designed cloth, kits of thread in the colors of the design, and a sample of what the finished product should look like. Like labor work...
Which I am not knocking, b/c it is necessary to give these women work, and the women do not argue with the money. And their skills in embroidery are used.
But there is an unmatched, unparallelable beauty to have them take ownership of their work. There is a visible difference in how much they enjoy creating the finished product. They debate what looks good, what doesn't. They express opinions. They *argue*. They are suddenly *thinking* about their work. And enjoying the process. And reclaiming ownership. I can't believe that it's actually happening.
Maybe they just had to see it for themselves.
so many things to say.
Ok, first things first. My dada is feeling better. Still in the hospital, but stable. Yay! *sigh of relief* Because he had come to visit me a few months earlier, the people in my village keep asking how he's doing, how he's feeling. Now that is community. :) Someone pass him word that everyone on this end is pulling for him. Everyone, including people he has yet to meet.
Next, someone give my two brothers a big hug from me. I miss them so much.
And Mom for mom's day. Sorry to be so far!
....
Now, I think I might notice this more than everyone else who is 'wrapped all up in it' (whereas I am a bit removed for the moment.) Life is unbelievable. Everyone I know is in an amazing transition right now. And b/c my contact w/ ppl is fewer and farther btw, I can SEE how much the people I love are growing. It is an INCREDIBLE thing to notice.
---> this realization begins with some great news. Angela Patel, who, incidently, was *convinced* that she would never make it through high school, is graduating with a Masters in Social Work from Colombia. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My baby's growin up!!! Someone hug her for me. (Then kick her as hard as you can.) I am so proud of you beta!
....
As for me, I'm doin ok. My toe is healing (I got an Xray taken finally, and it's going to be fine.... btw, I have the cutest toe bones evah!) *wink*
and...
I HELD MY FIRST ART EXHIBITION EVER! Such an overwhelming experience, I don't know where to begin. We convinced the village men to let 20 of their women come out to Ahmedbad to be a part of their first exhibition of their work. THEY CAME!!! 20 women, who had never left their village before, came out to big city A'bad. We wanted them to see for themselves, the buzz that has been created over artisans reclaiming ownership of their craft.
We did it all....overnight bus, a roller coaster, meeting the Gujarat minister of education, interacting with artists, designers and shop owners, going to department stores, high end clothing stores, out for ice cream, downtown, a movie.... 3 days of craziness. THE MEN AGREED (on the condition of 4 male escorts from the village.) We also took 4 boys from the villages, who are super promising at their studies, to enroll them at a great boarding school in A'bad. The publicity was unreal: articles in the Times of India, Mumbai Samachar, Divya Baskar AND, randomly enough, the Sunday London Times.
Now, here's the excitingest part. Anyone read the tipping point by malcolm Gladwell? It's about how movements are started and how they gain momentum. Basically, a whole lot of groundwork is laid, and then it just takes one small trigger to tip the scale. I have yet to see if I am getting ahead of myself, but I think we hit it. The difference in their cooperation, their understanding, the DESIGNS and QUALITY of their work is UNFUCKINBELIEVABLE. (excuse the language- i am too excited) A popular motif in their last piece was peacocks, because they saw peacocks roaming around for the first time! And suddenly, the women are thinking about their work. They are drawing inspiration from their surroundings, from their experiences, from their lives- they are evolving their traditional art themselves. They have ready replies for WHY they chose a particular (motif, color palate, spacing, layout) anything.
Sorry if this is rambling. I'm on a huge high right now. This is what they are talking about when they are talking about empowerment. Letting the people reclaim who they already are.
The majority of the handicraft work done in India is all about 'reviving tradtional art' via income generation. ... i.e. giving the women pre stenciled designed cloth, kits of thread in the colors of the design, and a sample of what the finished product should look like. Like labor work...
Which I am not knocking, b/c it is necessary to give these women work, and the women do not argue with the money. And their skills in embroidery are used.
But there is an unmatched, unparallelable beauty to have them take ownership of their work. There is a visible difference in how much they enjoy creating the finished product. They debate what looks good, what doesn't. They express opinions. They *argue*. They are suddenly *thinking* about their work. And enjoying the process. And reclaiming ownership. I can't believe that it's actually happening.
Maybe they just had to see it for themselves.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Ultimate frisbee on the Mumbai shoreline ...
head on collision with Deepa Ganachari. Her unbelievably hard heel meets my toe. 16 days later, it still hurts. Diagnosis: 'fractured,' a medical term meaning 'it's broken.' Geez.
Also, my grandfather is sick. I've decided that spirit and being positive have more of an effect than I give credit. So, everything will be fine. I'm betting on it. And praying for him. I loves him so much.
Also, my grandfather is sick. I've decided that spirit and being positive have more of an effect than I give credit. So, everything will be fine. I'm betting on it. And praying for him. I loves him so much.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Mapping India
Rajasthan, then Mumbai. Stayed in the desert for three days, then on to the oceanfront. Met up with the rest of the Indicorps team, and it was absolutely *amazing* to see how much we've all grown. I'm finally in a space where I feel like I can navigate India while being culturally appropriate and while (and this is the key) still being myself.
I saw my first crab on the oceanfront. Also met Rajni Bakshi, author of Bapu Kiti. I have yet to read the book, but we had a discussion of the similarities btw the civil rts mvement in the states and the Dalit movement in India. Interesting. She seemed well informed... but, like I said, haven't read her book yet.
Since I don't have a TV or radio out here, I have been writing a lot. Not reading as much as I would like to.... but some books I read recently and enjoyed:
the God of Small things (Arundati Roy)
The bookseller of Kabul (Asne Seierstad)
What Should I do w/ my life? (Po Bronson)
Interpreter of Maladies (Jhumpa Lahiri)
Seven habits of effective ppl (steven covey) (obvious suggestions, but well organized)
and, as always,
The giving tree (shel silverstein) and Oh the places you'll go (by the Dr. himself)
(b/c some books are just timeless)
I have this huge pile of books I've bought (books are super cheap in India) (getting to a point where my mountains of books are almost as high as Robyn's) ... that I am still chiseling my way through ... stuff I've been meaning to read or read about forever... but there is so much to know. Like Freud and Fountainhead and Tagore and Gibran and Isreal and the Phillipines and Egypt and Saul Williams and Ruth Foreman and the Black Panthers and the Tipping Point and Haruki Murakami and Gandhi.
Whatcha got? Send over any titles you'd recommend my way. :) I'll start doing the same.
I saw my first crab on the oceanfront. Also met Rajni Bakshi, author of Bapu Kiti. I have yet to read the book, but we had a discussion of the similarities btw the civil rts mvement in the states and the Dalit movement in India. Interesting. She seemed well informed... but, like I said, haven't read her book yet.
Since I don't have a TV or radio out here, I have been writing a lot. Not reading as much as I would like to.... but some books I read recently and enjoyed:
the God of Small things (Arundati Roy)
The bookseller of Kabul (Asne Seierstad)
What Should I do w/ my life? (Po Bronson)
Interpreter of Maladies (Jhumpa Lahiri)
Seven habits of effective ppl (steven covey) (obvious suggestions, but well organized)
and, as always,
The giving tree (shel silverstein) and Oh the places you'll go (by the Dr. himself)
(b/c some books are just timeless)
I have this huge pile of books I've bought (books are super cheap in India) (getting to a point where my mountains of books are almost as high as Robyn's) ... that I am still chiseling my way through ... stuff I've been meaning to read or read about forever... but there is so much to know. Like Freud and Fountainhead and Tagore and Gibran and Isreal and the Phillipines and Egypt and Saul Williams and Ruth Foreman and the Black Panthers and the Tipping Point and Haruki Murakami and Gandhi.
Whatcha got? Send over any titles you'd recommend my way. :) I'll start doing the same.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Things begin to click
Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't really fit any mold. I'm ok w/ this. I've come to appreciate always being a little different, always looking in from the outside. It gives me an edge - the ability to see things in a different perspective. I've come to terms with the occasional necessity to swim upstream and against the current. It's the way I was raised. It's because I know my path is unpaved.
But it is nice when the people I love support my decisions. It's an inner peace that can't be found in any other way. Soooo.... getting to the point....
I have a few opportunities open to me after this August. So I am thinking about staying back for a bit after my fellowship (After, of course, my family visits.... 3 weeks!!!! Yay!) If nothing else, the time will help me transition back into the life I led before I got here. (I can only imagine how traumatic it would be to go straight from a remote village in India back to life outside of Chicago without any time to adjust!)
The point of this entry is that (although my decision is still not 100%), I might stay for a while. And my family, who I thought would be competely against this, are actually super supportive of the idea. That simple statement eradicates so much anxiety. Having my family behind me makes me happier than I would ever let on.
I send a transAtlantic, intercontinental, oversea tackle hug to everyone I love. You know who you are.
:) (in the words of Vimal McBrother, "Wink!")
But it is nice when the people I love support my decisions. It's an inner peace that can't be found in any other way. Soooo.... getting to the point....
I have a few opportunities open to me after this August. So I am thinking about staying back for a bit after my fellowship (After, of course, my family visits.... 3 weeks!!!! Yay!) If nothing else, the time will help me transition back into the life I led before I got here. (I can only imagine how traumatic it would be to go straight from a remote village in India back to life outside of Chicago without any time to adjust!)
The point of this entry is that (although my decision is still not 100%), I might stay for a while. And my family, who I thought would be competely against this, are actually super supportive of the idea. That simple statement eradicates so much anxiety. Having my family behind me makes me happier than I would ever let on.
I send a transAtlantic, intercontinental, oversea tackle hug to everyone I love. You know who you are.
:) (in the words of Vimal McBrother, "Wink!")
Monday, March 28, 2005
Say it with me.... "Ooo-nah-doe"
Yep. "The summer season. It's here.... and ees-a hot out here.
There were a few things I was supremely fearful of before coming out here including:
1. Summer in the desert and
2. Scorpion season
Apparently, they are one and the same; the summer heat drives the mofos out of the ground... Like a video game, the goal is to pass the level w/o getting stung by a scorpion. I need to make me a scorpion-proof suit. hmmmmm.... cellophane? aluminum foil? tweed perhaps? Nothing gets through tweed right? Shoot over any bright ideas.
So, a man in my village (Desar) had been living in another village for a month or 2. He was doing labor work abt 1/2 an hr away. Desar had just bought a new motorcycle and had about 9000 rupees left to go. We had gone to the village he was in about a week ago to organize a music performance for the projectAhimsa (www.projectahimsa.org/) fellow to get some music clips for a CD. We spent the night w/ Desar. Had a great time. He hadn't been home or seen his family in weeks; he told us to tell his family he missed them and he'd be home in a couple of days.
2 days later- he's on the way home. Gets into a horrible car accident w/ a tractor w/ only one headlight working. A hit and run. Desar dies instantly. His oldest son's wedding was planned for next month. The bike he'd almost paid off--> gone. The craziest part is that I saw him more recently then his 4 kids and his wife because of that music performance 2 days prior. He was really good guy, always joking around. Quite upsetting. It's frightening how emotionally attached I am getting to this place.
....
It makes me question how far immersion into a community should go... a certain distance needs to be kept to remain effective and not get pulled into politics... but it is a crazy fine line to walk. I still can't believe it happened so suddenly.
Within a week of this accident, one of the women in the village *finally* had her baby. The circle of life continues. She went to the hospital, had the baby, and was back home in 2 hours. Do these women really need me to empower them? They're tough as nails I tell ya. The baby girl is soooo precious. I'm trying to get the mom to name her Rups. So far, the argument has been met w/ deaf ears. Persistance is key. I'll keep y'all posted.
Celebrated my first Holi (the festival of colors) in India. It was the most fun I've had in FOREVER! Amazing. Starts out playing in a field, throwing the colored powder on people, forever dying clothes reds, yellows, blues and greens... escalates into a waterfight once someone finds a hose. Then people start throwing mud and it is ALL OVER! It can prob be best described as a massive mudfight. Spectacular. My stomach hurt from laughing.
I've come to realize that those are some of the best moments to live for. Laughing until your stomach hurts, laughing til you cry.** Extremely vital and necessary. :)
I think I get too easily sidetracked by the little stresses of life (i.e. long lines, mosquitoes, money, being late, career frustrations, consequences that I do not control, not meeting others' expectations... so many things.) I forget that life is supposed to be happy. I forget that choosing to be happy and to enjoy the moments that matter are active choices.
I forget that they are my choices to make.
There were a few things I was supremely fearful of before coming out here including:
1. Summer in the desert and
2. Scorpion season
Apparently, they are one and the same; the summer heat drives the mofos out of the ground... Like a video game, the goal is to pass the level w/o getting stung by a scorpion. I need to make me a scorpion-proof suit. hmmmmm.... cellophane? aluminum foil? tweed perhaps? Nothing gets through tweed right? Shoot over any bright ideas.
So, a man in my village (Desar) had been living in another village for a month or 2. He was doing labor work abt 1/2 an hr away. Desar had just bought a new motorcycle and had about 9000 rupees left to go. We had gone to the village he was in about a week ago to organize a music performance for the projectAhimsa (www.projectahimsa.org/) fellow to get some music clips for a CD. We spent the night w/ Desar. Had a great time. He hadn't been home or seen his family in weeks; he told us to tell his family he missed them and he'd be home in a couple of days.
2 days later- he's on the way home. Gets into a horrible car accident w/ a tractor w/ only one headlight working. A hit and run. Desar dies instantly. His oldest son's wedding was planned for next month. The bike he'd almost paid off--> gone. The craziest part is that I saw him more recently then his 4 kids and his wife because of that music performance 2 days prior. He was really good guy, always joking around. Quite upsetting. It's frightening how emotionally attached I am getting to this place.
....
It makes me question how far immersion into a community should go... a certain distance needs to be kept to remain effective and not get pulled into politics... but it is a crazy fine line to walk. I still can't believe it happened so suddenly.
Within a week of this accident, one of the women in the village *finally* had her baby. The circle of life continues. She went to the hospital, had the baby, and was back home in 2 hours. Do these women really need me to empower them? They're tough as nails I tell ya. The baby girl is soooo precious. I'm trying to get the mom to name her Rups. So far, the argument has been met w/ deaf ears. Persistance is key. I'll keep y'all posted.
Celebrated my first Holi (the festival of colors) in India. It was the most fun I've had in FOREVER! Amazing. Starts out playing in a field, throwing the colored powder on people, forever dying clothes reds, yellows, blues and greens... escalates into a waterfight once someone finds a hose. Then people start throwing mud and it is ALL OVER! It can prob be best described as a massive mudfight. Spectacular. My stomach hurt from laughing.
I've come to realize that those are some of the best moments to live for. Laughing until your stomach hurts, laughing til you cry.** Extremely vital and necessary. :)
I think I get too easily sidetracked by the little stresses of life (i.e. long lines, mosquitoes, money, being late, career frustrations, consequences that I do not control, not meeting others' expectations... so many things.) I forget that life is supposed to be happy. I forget that choosing to be happy and to enjoy the moments that matter are active choices.
I forget that they are my choices to make.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Past the halfway point
or, in other words, I am more done than I am not done. The ratio is tipping in the other direction. Eeeeeeep!
It frightens me at how comfortable I am in this space. It's like all the superfluous things to worry about were bared away and suddenly, all that's left are the important things. The little things that matter. I feel centered. Grounded. Focused. I feel the work I do matters. Once you get a taste of doing work that you care about, there's absolutely no going back.
I'm comfortable here, but sometimes I shake my head and laugh about how physically tolerant I have become: I am immune to the 2km walk to get fruits and veggies and the 1/2km for milk- daily. I'm dehydrated for better part of the day. My farmers tan is out of control. ;) My skin is super dark from running around in the sun all day and some how I'm always either recovering from a sickness or cut or bruised.
Case in point: I had my first hot shower in months this morning. Man, talk about appreciating the little things.... I'm on cloud nine.
My project is going well. I post a lot about my adventures here, but don't really talk about the work I do. So, this might get a little long, but here's what I have been up to work-wise:
Out of the 60 women in the Rural Design school, abt 12 to 15 of them are uber talented and rockstars when it comes down to color, design, composition, quality of work etc. The next step is to help them create portfolios for themselves and start an artists' collective. I want them to have a space that inspires innovation within the medium and watches out to make sure they aren't being exploited by outside markets, like a union. I'm also organizing an exhibition planned for them in the big citay of A'bad. "Contemporary Expressions," playing off of their innovations on a traditional craft.
....
So here's the cool thing about this year: I am not 100% decided on which direction to go in after this year (yeah, still), but the longer I am out here, the less I freak out about it. I'm helping the women found a artist collective. Teaching at the grade school (when the teachers don't come.) Running a kindergarten in the neighboring village. Mediating intra-village and inter-village politics. Helping build community within and between economic classes, genders, religions. Painting road signs. Breaking concrete. Building a community space (complete with getting the supplies- cement bags, wooden pillars, cement blocks.) Helping women create portfolios. Empowering them through example, through taking risks with their work, through not settling for anything. Marketing art. Monitoring women's health in the area. Organizing competitions, exhibitions, music performances. Trying to counter the negative long term effects of the relief efforts of four years ago. Doing it all in a language I am still learning.
Some of the projects I'll be working on in the next few months: Painting murals with the women on the sides of the buildings. Writing brochures about the Rural design school portfolios. Editing a collective book. Putting together a coffee table book on the rural design school. Creating my own portfolio. Designing a set of postcards. Creating a promotional video.
Where August will find me is still vague; the grayest of gray areas.... but the experiences I'm putting all up under my belt make me feel like I'll be ready for whatever comes my way.
It's a great feeling.
Summer is rollin in. It is hotter than hot. And this is only the beginning. But summer also marks the beginning of the mango season. This is the legend I have only heard about- a whole season devoted to mangos. Pretty excited.
Man, I hate links.
I hope this one works.
Missing the people at home a lot today. Notes to pass along:
Mom, you owe me a letter and copies of those jewelry designs.
Vim/Vish, come during the third week of July. :)
Ang, happy bday Oldie McPhereson.
A huge tackle hug to everyone else. Huge. And someone do some handstands in my name; I can't do them here. :)
It frightens me at how comfortable I am in this space. It's like all the superfluous things to worry about were bared away and suddenly, all that's left are the important things. The little things that matter. I feel centered. Grounded. Focused. I feel the work I do matters. Once you get a taste of doing work that you care about, there's absolutely no going back.
I'm comfortable here, but sometimes I shake my head and laugh about how physically tolerant I have become: I am immune to the 2km walk to get fruits and veggies and the 1/2km for milk- daily. I'm dehydrated for better part of the day. My farmers tan is out of control. ;) My skin is super dark from running around in the sun all day and some how I'm always either recovering from a sickness or cut or bruised.
Case in point: I had my first hot shower in months this morning. Man, talk about appreciating the little things.... I'm on cloud nine.
My project is going well. I post a lot about my adventures here, but don't really talk about the work I do. So, this might get a little long, but here's what I have been up to work-wise:
Out of the 60 women in the Rural Design school, abt 12 to 15 of them are uber talented and rockstars when it comes down to color, design, composition, quality of work etc. The next step is to help them create portfolios for themselves and start an artists' collective. I want them to have a space that inspires innovation within the medium and watches out to make sure they aren't being exploited by outside markets, like a union. I'm also organizing an exhibition planned for them in the big citay of A'bad. "Contemporary Expressions," playing off of their innovations on a traditional craft.
....
So here's the cool thing about this year: I am not 100% decided on which direction to go in after this year (yeah, still), but the longer I am out here, the less I freak out about it. I'm helping the women found a artist collective. Teaching at the grade school (when the teachers don't come.) Running a kindergarten in the neighboring village. Mediating intra-village and inter-village politics. Helping build community within and between economic classes, genders, religions. Painting road signs. Breaking concrete. Building a community space (complete with getting the supplies- cement bags, wooden pillars, cement blocks.) Helping women create portfolios. Empowering them through example, through taking risks with their work, through not settling for anything. Marketing art. Monitoring women's health in the area. Organizing competitions, exhibitions, music performances. Trying to counter the negative long term effects of the relief efforts of four years ago. Doing it all in a language I am still learning.
Some of the projects I'll be working on in the next few months: Painting murals with the women on the sides of the buildings. Writing brochures about the Rural design school portfolios. Editing a collective book. Putting together a coffee table book on the rural design school. Creating my own portfolio. Designing a set of postcards. Creating a promotional video.
Where August will find me is still vague; the grayest of gray areas.... but the experiences I'm putting all up under my belt make me feel like I'll be ready for whatever comes my way.
It's a great feeling.
Summer is rollin in. It is hotter than hot. And this is only the beginning. But summer also marks the beginning of the mango season. This is the legend I have only heard about- a whole season devoted to mangos. Pretty excited.
Man, I hate links.
I hope this one works.
Missing the people at home a lot today. Notes to pass along:
Mom, you owe me a letter and copies of those jewelry designs.
Vim/Vish, come during the third week of July. :)
Ang, happy bday Oldie McPhereson.
A huge tackle hug to everyone else. Huge. And someone do some handstands in my name; I can't do them here. :)
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Incognito
I think it's a good thing that I can't post pics up here. No one from home would recognize me anymore. My hair--> super long. Like longer than I've worn it in years. I am also crazy tan and losing weight from all this trekking around. However, the six-pack, as is perpetually my style, is still a work in progress, ever hindered by my love of peanut M&M's and ice cream. Some things never change. :)
I have also stopped apologizing for who I am. Hopefully, this is something that will stick.
I have also stopped apologizing for who I am. Hopefully, this is something that will stick.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Past the halfway point
I've been here six months. SIX. MONTHS! I.e. one half of one year.
Crazy, yet true. And, I'm out of my funk. Yay, me!
last week: I was about to miss a bus on the other side of town so I flag down the first guy I see to hitchhike a ride (completely safe, I had a friend with me), and it ends up being a guy on a motorbike with one of those sidecarts on the side. (Yes, apparently they still make them!) All I needed was a long scarf and some pilot goggles. :) The same week I caught a ride on a tractor, in a luggage carrier, and holding onto the back of a jeep. The hands down best way to travel is to travel broke. I'm going to try to make it from one coast to another w/o monies someday. Who's with me?
I apologize to everyone I haven't been emailing back. My email has been acting up the past two weeks.
A couple from Italy pulled through a couple of days ago. At one point I was translating between five languages. Wha?! Granted, I don't really have a command on any, including English, anymore. Anyhow, the guy was this bartender for a place he owns on the beaches of Genova; the woman is an accountant. An interesting combination of people for sure, but their dynamic was really unbelievable. It's beautiful to see people that bounce off each other that well. It made me happy.
Ok. I'm out. Big hug to everyone at home.
Crazy, yet true. And, I'm out of my funk. Yay, me!
last week: I was about to miss a bus on the other side of town so I flag down the first guy I see to hitchhike a ride (completely safe, I had a friend with me), and it ends up being a guy on a motorbike with one of those sidecarts on the side. (Yes, apparently they still make them!) All I needed was a long scarf and some pilot goggles. :) The same week I caught a ride on a tractor, in a luggage carrier, and holding onto the back of a jeep. The hands down best way to travel is to travel broke. I'm going to try to make it from one coast to another w/o monies someday. Who's with me?
I apologize to everyone I haven't been emailing back. My email has been acting up the past two weeks.
A couple from Italy pulled through a couple of days ago. At one point I was translating between five languages. Wha?! Granted, I don't really have a command on any, including English, anymore. Anyhow, the guy was this bartender for a place he owns on the beaches of Genova; the woman is an accountant. An interesting combination of people for sure, but their dynamic was really unbelievable. It's beautiful to see people that bounce off each other that well. It made me happy.
Ok. I'm out. Big hug to everyone at home.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Pitiful
So extremely and utterly depressed. I don't really know what i am trying to accomplish out here but yesterday was a trying day and I had a breakdown. This work is futile. I want to run into the desert until I become a part of the horizon or am eaten by vultures. I desparately need a big hug and some chocolate milk; neither of which are apart of the culture, neither of which will happen anytime soon.
Sad, sad times.
_____________________________
On a more constructive note, what can be done to revive the arts in our communities? The initial trails have to be blazed to show it (professions in or involving the arts) can be done successfully. There are so many really talented people that end up in 9-5 daytime jobs out of a lack of opportunities. Hm....
Start a school? An international mentor/ exchange program? Get some grants? Fundraisers? A consulting company? A publishing house/art gallery/music studio/performance space? How can this be done?
Sad, sad times.
_____________________________
On a more constructive note, what can be done to revive the arts in our communities? The initial trails have to be blazed to show it (professions in or involving the arts) can be done successfully. There are so many really talented people that end up in 9-5 daytime jobs out of a lack of opportunities. Hm....
Start a school? An international mentor/ exchange program? Get some grants? Fundraisers? A consulting company? A publishing house/art gallery/music studio/performance space? How can this be done?
Monday, February 14, 2005
As Vim would say,
Wha?!? Happy V day foolios. I had a flashback today to when V day's were the most fun (beyond the stereotypical relationship stuff):
*In grade school (with secret admirers and performated cardboard valentines in decorated brown paper bags.... y'all know what I am talking about.)
*College--> Case in point: Jen, Tea, E, Rito and well, most of the ppl on the 3rd and 4th floor would buy each other Weston-delivered flowers and candy (secretly) but everyone had the same idea. Skip to the end of the day: lots of laughing at unoriginality and enough chocolate to last for days.
_____
In other news, my tummy hurts. (I'm putting it mildly.) India has seriously tested me this past six months, both physically and mentally. Mentally, by making me question everything I am and everything I believe in... Physically, by handing me a different sickness every few weeks to make fully sure that I appreciate the moments that my body is happy with me. I don't usually give details b/c one, I don't want to worry anyone, and two, I reserve most complaints of health to the older crowds when pain-is-actually-pain and it's not just rups-bein-whiny. Ah well. I fo sho miss being taken care of when I fall ill. I question if that is apart of growing up: being able to take care of yourself even when you can't. I'll tell you though, there's very little else that can make a person feel more alone in the world than being sick without anyone to bring you a blanket or some juice.
I know, I know, 'rups, it's not like you are dead. quit your complaining.' I'm done. :)
____
One of the coolest things about this year is the people I've been meeting. The world is so much bigger than we give it credit for. Some of the characters: a Brazillian filmmaker, an Isreali historian, an Austrailian designer, American filmmakers, a deep sea archeologist from Turkey, fashion designers from London, an English artist (who is about to open some international galleries and wants me to build up my work to display in them... WHA?!?!?) international journalists, artists and entreprenuers. I find it funny that I came to India to have the time to focus in on what I want to "do with the rest of my life" and India decides to accost me with the infinite number of possibilities of anything and everything that can be done in the world. The coolest thing about it? *It's no longer a decision that frustrates me.* I'm getting there and enjoying the road to figuring it out. We shall see if this is a feeling that fights or flights.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." -- Albert Schweitzer
______
Can someone answer a question for me? I was once told that the beauty of a culture is historically measured by its arts, music and literature. Why are these the areas that are (seemingly) appreciated the least as far as professions?
*In grade school (with secret admirers and performated cardboard valentines in decorated brown paper bags.... y'all know what I am talking about.)
*College--> Case in point: Jen, Tea, E, Rito and well, most of the ppl on the 3rd and 4th floor would buy each other Weston-delivered flowers and candy (secretly) but everyone had the same idea. Skip to the end of the day: lots of laughing at unoriginality and enough chocolate to last for days.
_____
In other news, my tummy hurts. (I'm putting it mildly.) India has seriously tested me this past six months, both physically and mentally. Mentally, by making me question everything I am and everything I believe in... Physically, by handing me a different sickness every few weeks to make fully sure that I appreciate the moments that my body is happy with me. I don't usually give details b/c one, I don't want to worry anyone, and two, I reserve most complaints of health to the older crowds when pain-is-actually-pain and it's not just rups-bein-whiny. Ah well. I fo sho miss being taken care of when I fall ill. I question if that is apart of growing up: being able to take care of yourself even when you can't. I'll tell you though, there's very little else that can make a person feel more alone in the world than being sick without anyone to bring you a blanket or some juice.
I know, I know, 'rups, it's not like you are dead. quit your complaining.' I'm done. :)
____
One of the coolest things about this year is the people I've been meeting. The world is so much bigger than we give it credit for. Some of the characters: a Brazillian filmmaker, an Isreali historian, an Austrailian designer, American filmmakers, a deep sea archeologist from Turkey, fashion designers from London, an English artist (who is about to open some international galleries and wants me to build up my work to display in them... WHA?!?!?) international journalists, artists and entreprenuers. I find it funny that I came to India to have the time to focus in on what I want to "do with the rest of my life" and India decides to accost me with the infinite number of possibilities of anything and everything that can be done in the world. The coolest thing about it? *It's no longer a decision that frustrates me.* I'm getting there and enjoying the road to figuring it out. We shall see if this is a feeling that fights or flights.
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." -- Albert Schweitzer
______
Can someone answer a question for me? I was once told that the beauty of a culture is historically measured by its arts, music and literature. Why are these the areas that are (seemingly) appreciated the least as far as professions?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
the invitation
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Grr.
*this post is in response to an email forward I saw on the SAPAC_chicago listserv written by YSS and OY, 2 American organizations that organize South Asian youth. Do not read on if politics and/or activism is not your cup of tea.
_______________
Ok, so I just got an email forward that is flying around saying that Indicorps has taken funds and worked with organizations that are involved with the RSS, a group known to promote an extremist religious and political agenda in India. The email questions Indicorps, saying that by working with organizations and taking funds from people associated with the RSS, Indicorps is supporting the RSS political agenda. Umm... completely unfounded, thanks. I'm still debating whether I want to get involved into an email fight about it ... but I wanted to post up here just in case any of y'all had heard anything.
My main problem is YSS and OY send this email asking Indicorps to explain themselves. The email was sent to a whole lot of people but not Indicorps itself. Ummm.. if you want Indicorps to explain themselves, why aren't you asking Indicorps? If you weren't going to ask directly, why wouldn't you at least include Indicorps on the list? ... unless your intent was not to get answers but to start rumors.
Now as we all know, I usually, if not always, ignore email forwards. The only reason I am replying to this one is because it undermines the work that I am doing this year. I won't allow it.
IDRF (India Development and Relief Fund) has been one of the past funders (one of many funders mind you) for Indicorps. This group also apparently funds some RSS organizations. The email says that, with Indicorps accepting funds from them, they are supporting the RSS agenda. Someone should tell the email's authors that they should've done their homework.
1. Indicorps is secular and non partisan. As an organization, Indicorps makes it very clear to funders that the funds are accepted with no strings attached. It's not about name recognition, it's about youth taking ownership and initiative to be agents of social change. It's so silly to have YSS and OY picking a fight like this when we're all trying to get to the same place. A unified front. Inclusive empowerment. Solidarity. I mean, come on.
2. Hindu extremist philosophies are (usually) anti-Muslim, anti-Dalit (used to be referred to as untouchables). The IDRF is the funder that actually funded the project I am working on.
I invite anyone who questions Indicorps motives to come visit my project.
I live in a community that is fully comprised of Dalits and Muslims (as I've mentioned before). Now, anyone that knows me knows full well that I am here to serve these communities. To empower the women. To give them a stable income. To give them ownership over their artistic abilities and have that ownership and confidence ripple into other facets of their lives.
No one, and I mean no one, uses me as a vehicle to push an agenda here. No one tells me how to do my work out here. Whoever wrote that email needs to email ME directly before telling me that the work I am doing is Hindutva. I am one of the direct benefactors of these funds. They are paying for me at a ground level. Why don't you ASK me what work I'm doing before telling me who I am tied to? Fools. How can you question the organization without first doing some RESEARCH? Did you? Did you find out that the first two girls on the project were Muslim and Sikh? That the following year was a Hindu and Muslim w/ Pakistani roots working together?
And lastly #3.
Had you done your RESEARCH, you would've found out that the people that spent time training us (this year's fellows) at orientation were people such as Sushma Iyengar, Anna Hazare, and Harsh Mander. Why don't you look up who these people are before you try to say you know an organization's motives?
Grr.
_______________
Ok, so I just got an email forward that is flying around saying that Indicorps has taken funds and worked with organizations that are involved with the RSS, a group known to promote an extremist religious and political agenda in India. The email questions Indicorps, saying that by working with organizations and taking funds from people associated with the RSS, Indicorps is supporting the RSS political agenda. Umm... completely unfounded, thanks. I'm still debating whether I want to get involved into an email fight about it ... but I wanted to post up here just in case any of y'all had heard anything.
My main problem is YSS and OY send this email asking Indicorps to explain themselves. The email was sent to a whole lot of people but not Indicorps itself. Ummm.. if you want Indicorps to explain themselves, why aren't you asking Indicorps? If you weren't going to ask directly, why wouldn't you at least include Indicorps on the list? ... unless your intent was not to get answers but to start rumors.
Now as we all know, I usually, if not always, ignore email forwards. The only reason I am replying to this one is because it undermines the work that I am doing this year. I won't allow it.
IDRF (India Development and Relief Fund) has been one of the past funders (one of many funders mind you) for Indicorps. This group also apparently funds some RSS organizations. The email says that, with Indicorps accepting funds from them, they are supporting the RSS agenda. Someone should tell the email's authors that they should've done their homework.
1. Indicorps is secular and non partisan. As an organization, Indicorps makes it very clear to funders that the funds are accepted with no strings attached. It's not about name recognition, it's about youth taking ownership and initiative to be agents of social change. It's so silly to have YSS and OY picking a fight like this when we're all trying to get to the same place. A unified front. Inclusive empowerment. Solidarity. I mean, come on.
2. Hindu extremist philosophies are (usually) anti-Muslim, anti-Dalit (used to be referred to as untouchables). The IDRF is the funder that actually funded the project I am working on.
I invite anyone who questions Indicorps motives to come visit my project.
I live in a community that is fully comprised of Dalits and Muslims (as I've mentioned before). Now, anyone that knows me knows full well that I am here to serve these communities. To empower the women. To give them a stable income. To give them ownership over their artistic abilities and have that ownership and confidence ripple into other facets of their lives.
No one, and I mean no one, uses me as a vehicle to push an agenda here. No one tells me how to do my work out here. Whoever wrote that email needs to email ME directly before telling me that the work I am doing is Hindutva. I am one of the direct benefactors of these funds. They are paying for me at a ground level. Why don't you ASK me what work I'm doing before telling me who I am tied to? Fools. How can you question the organization without first doing some RESEARCH? Did you? Did you find out that the first two girls on the project were Muslim and Sikh? That the following year was a Hindu and Muslim w/ Pakistani roots working together?
And lastly #3.
Had you done your RESEARCH, you would've found out that the people that spent time training us (this year's fellows) at orientation were people such as Sushma Iyengar, Anna Hazare, and Harsh Mander. Why don't you look up who these people are before you try to say you know an organization's motives?
Grr.
Saturday, February 05, 2005
hey friends
I'm back in Gujarat. Safe. My head is swimming. Completely overwhelmed by the tsunami and everything involved. Sleep deprived. 34 hour train ride. Quality time with a lot of intensely altruistic people that are super focused and not even slightly hippy. Just got back from a break of dawn ultimate frisbee game along the Sabermati riverbed to destress. Desparately need some sleep and some fruit.
Huge hug to my corners. I love you fools so much and can't wait to see you.
And, last but not least, time to dispell some rumors:
#1. No, I am not coming home early, nor am I already home.
#2. No, I am not here to get married; this idea needs to be unthunk immediately. (Vim, you are in charge of keeping this rumor in check back home.)
Ok. Gotta go.
Huge hug to my corners. I love you fools so much and can't wait to see you.
And, last but not least, time to dispell some rumors:
#1. No, I am not coming home early, nor am I already home.
#2. No, I am not here to get married; this idea needs to be unthunk immediately. (Vim, you are in charge of keeping this rumor in check back home.)
Ok. Gotta go.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Approaching midnight
and I suddenly find myself alone in an office with the day's work done and decent internet access. Happiness is all about the simple things.
***I'm feeling much much better.*** The fevers are laying low. Yay, hemoglobins! And white blood cells. And other such medical stuff that I pretend to know. :)
So, I left my the Rural design school to help with the Tsunami work. For the next two weeks I am in the villages of Tamil Nadu (south Indian coast) coordinating the efforts between the govt, NGOs, international organizations, funders etc. It's an effort to ensure that all of these organizations are communicating on a common platform to avoid duplication, fill voids and maximize resources.
Went through trauma counseling training in Ahmedabad and spent a few days in Auroville to organize the network. Auroville is a pretty quirky/strange/uber-interesting place. The highlight, however, was that (b/c everything else was booked) 14 of us stayed in this architectually stunning 3 floor art gallery. Amazing sculptures, pottery, textiles, ... I'd walk past the charcoals (in my socks & pj's) before going to bed, have meetings in the sculpture room, and sleep in the room with paintings as tall as I am.... it was almost too extremely perfect. Almost like a prep to make me super happy before going into the emotionally draining work that I was getting myself into.
It's been a month since the tsunamis hit; the relief efforts are wrapping up and the long term rehabilitation phase is now being kick started. The devastation to the area is truly upsetting. Every time I stand next to the ocean I get the chills... which is really odd; being comfortable in/with water has always been my element. Most of the debri has been cleared away but the damage is still everywhere. I've heard a lot of survivor stories and during every one I have to remind myself that it actually happened. An earthquake under the ocean. A wall of water. Houses/boats/people getting washed away. What?!?
Indonesia actually had another earthquake hit (a 6.2) which apparently didn't get much news coverage (here anyway). Who sets the priorities with the news coverage??? They should be run out of town.
_________________________________________________
A PUBLIC NOTICE:
To anyone and everyone that helped make that Xmas DVD for me--> you guys ROCK. It was the most amazing Christmas present EVAH and made me so very extremely happy. I was up til 2am laughing and feeling really loved. THANK YOU!!!
_________________________________________________
And last but certainly not least, my granddad came to India last week. He had some work to do and I convinced him to come visit my project site. He agreed. He came. He's 80! But he trekked out (An overnight bus, transfer to a two hour bus, transfer to a local taxi/pickup truck to the desert). He stayed for three days and had a blast. (Man, if *only* I could post up those pictures!) Also, the man is an amazing role model.
He in the month he was in India he:
1. visited my village
2. collected 100,000 books to start a children's library for orphans
3. restarted the Red Cross radiology department (named after my grandmother)
4. donated the money to build a room at a college hostel/medical clinic in Ahmedabad
AND
5. he still had time to remodel his bathroom.
In a month! The man is 80. He is exactly the 80 yr old man I strive to be one day. (???) You know what I mean. :)
***I'm feeling much much better.*** The fevers are laying low. Yay, hemoglobins! And white blood cells. And other such medical stuff that I pretend to know. :)
So, I left my the Rural design school to help with the Tsunami work. For the next two weeks I am in the villages of Tamil Nadu (south Indian coast) coordinating the efforts between the govt, NGOs, international organizations, funders etc. It's an effort to ensure that all of these organizations are communicating on a common platform to avoid duplication, fill voids and maximize resources.
Went through trauma counseling training in Ahmedabad and spent a few days in Auroville to organize the network. Auroville is a pretty quirky/strange/uber-interesting place. The highlight, however, was that (b/c everything else was booked) 14 of us stayed in this architectually stunning 3 floor art gallery. Amazing sculptures, pottery, textiles, ... I'd walk past the charcoals (in my socks & pj's) before going to bed, have meetings in the sculpture room, and sleep in the room with paintings as tall as I am.... it was almost too extremely perfect. Almost like a prep to make me super happy before going into the emotionally draining work that I was getting myself into.
It's been a month since the tsunamis hit; the relief efforts are wrapping up and the long term rehabilitation phase is now being kick started. The devastation to the area is truly upsetting. Every time I stand next to the ocean I get the chills... which is really odd; being comfortable in/with water has always been my element. Most of the debri has been cleared away but the damage is still everywhere. I've heard a lot of survivor stories and during every one I have to remind myself that it actually happened. An earthquake under the ocean. A wall of water. Houses/boats/people getting washed away. What?!?
Indonesia actually had another earthquake hit (a 6.2) which apparently didn't get much news coverage (here anyway). Who sets the priorities with the news coverage??? They should be run out of town.
_________________________________________________
A PUBLIC NOTICE:
To anyone and everyone that helped make that Xmas DVD for me--> you guys ROCK. It was the most amazing Christmas present EVAH and made me so very extremely happy. I was up til 2am laughing and feeling really loved. THANK YOU!!!
_________________________________________________
And last but certainly not least, my granddad came to India last week. He had some work to do and I convinced him to come visit my project site. He agreed. He came. He's 80! But he trekked out (An overnight bus, transfer to a two hour bus, transfer to a local taxi/pickup truck to the desert). He stayed for three days and had a blast. (Man, if *only* I could post up those pictures!) Also, the man is an amazing role model.
He in the month he was in India he:
1. visited my village
2. collected 100,000 books to start a children's library for orphans
3. restarted the Red Cross radiology department (named after my grandmother)
4. donated the money to build a room at a college hostel/medical clinic in Ahmedabad
AND
5. he still had time to remodel his bathroom.
In a month! The man is 80. He is exactly the 80 yr old man I strive to be one day. (???) You know what I mean. :)
Sunday, January 23, 2005
quick note
next two weeks I am on the south coast of india helping with the relief and rehabilitation efforts. I am staying safe. Will be back Feb 7th. Much love.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Wha?
Serious? Like seriously sick?
This computer sucks... I can't print this comment on the last post or open the article given.... What if I don't treat it? What's the worst that'll happen? I've already taken too many courses of pills. And *who* is Figment?? I'm assuming it's a play off of 'a figment of my imagination'.. yet I am not about to take medical advice from my imagination or any figments thereof.
Bleh. I'm sad and angry. Sad b/c I don't want to be sick. Angry b/c of all the apparent misdiagnosi I've received thus far. If it's reendemic or whatever, I'll get it again anyway right? How am I supposed to treat the entire region? EVERYONE has the same symptoms. Bleh squared. Rups is so frustrated that she is speaking in the third.
Jennaiya, Sanj, if you're out there, please let me know what you think.
(so, yeah, it's been great. i'm ready to come home now.)
on another note, one of my especially cheesy journal entries is up on the Indicorps site. I'm playing w/ short stories... let me know what you think (even if you completely hate it and think that the malaria should just finish the job.)
much love,
sicko rups
This computer sucks... I can't print this comment on the last post or open the article given.... What if I don't treat it? What's the worst that'll happen? I've already taken too many courses of pills. And *who* is Figment?? I'm assuming it's a play off of 'a figment of my imagination'.. yet I am not about to take medical advice from my imagination or any figments thereof.
Bleh. I'm sad and angry. Sad b/c I don't want to be sick. Angry b/c of all the apparent misdiagnosi I've received thus far. If it's reendemic or whatever, I'll get it again anyway right? How am I supposed to treat the entire region? EVERYONE has the same symptoms. Bleh squared. Rups is so frustrated that she is speaking in the third.
Jennaiya, Sanj, if you're out there, please let me know what you think.
(so, yeah, it's been great. i'm ready to come home now.)
on another note, one of my especially cheesy journal entries is up on the Indicorps site. I'm playing w/ short stories... let me know what you think (even if you completely hate it and think that the malaria should just finish the job.)
much love,
sicko rups
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
World Affairs, Ketchup, and Holidays
First and foremost, I am far enough inland and completely ok. With that being said, I am close enough to the coast to have felt the *crazy* winds the day the tsunamis hit. No one knew what was going on... (only 3 people in town have a TV.) As soon as the aftershock threats die down and it is safe to go to the South Indian coast, I'm planning on going down there to do what I can in the relief and rehabilitation efforts. I don't have enough time at the computer today to respond to all the concerned emails I got, but I assure you I am safe, grateful, and figuring out a way to help at the ground level. There also seems to be some confusion with my ph #. From the states, you dial 011-91-2803-266-048. 10 and 1/2 hours forward from Chicago time.
Fozia, I'm sorry I couldn't meet up with you. You were out of coastline area by the time this all went down right??? Please let me know that you're ok.
The area that I live in was hit by the earthquake measuring 7.9 in 2001. They know the devastation natural disasters cause quite personally and so most of them are donating whatever they can, even those most have very little to give. It's nice to see an effort so beautiful among such a tragedy.
So many things unfolded all at once. I haven't kept up w/ this mofo. And so, it's backtracking time...
Happy New Year!!! 2005. Eeeeeep!
And, of course, an extremely belated Merry Christmas.
Quite officially, my 1st set of holidays away from people I love. But, traditions were replaced by some insane misadventures...
Xmas Eve (daytime) was spent purchasing supplies in big city Bhuj to build a community space/ verandah in the middle I live in. The actual evening, I spent under an almost full moon riding on *top of* the pyramid of wooden logs, bundles of hay, cement bags and the rest of the supplies we bought in an open top truck.
The award for funniest moment goes to ... the desert winds were super super cold so all of us huddled together ...until we found a bag of old women's clothes that we used to keep warm. This ended with a lot of tough desert men wearing women's clothing out of necessity. Hilarious!
The award for coolest part? One of my goals in coming to India was to ride atop a truck, which usually would never happen b/c men here put women's safety first and reorganize seating if necessary so I sit inside. This time I got a say in the matter b/c it was me renting the truck. No one tell Indicorps about this one!
Xmas day was spent working. The night however, we hitched a ride to a late night festival atop the temple on Black Mountain with the electrical company guys. Ate dinner with the gurus (priests), and listened to kutchi folk singers belt out the most soulful music I've heard in a long while. The moon was full and super brilliant, making the desert glow... and the view from the mountain is amazing. From up there, you can see the white salt desert, the Indo Pak border (India Bridge), and our little village.
New Years Eve, our fuse box burned out so we had no lights. I made my NY's Resolutions by candlelight under the stars. An extremely beautiful moment that I'm sad no one was there to share with me. (Everyone I love felt incredibly far away come midnight.)
Now, some business. Does anyone know why India agreed to sign the WTO product patent act that went into effect Jan 1? I don't know the history but it doesn't seem like a very good idea. It sounds like it'll ravage the already sparse medical treatments and make a lot of prescription drugs inaccessible to a big majority of the population. How does this benefit the country?
The really bad fever came back last night. Like scary bad. The strain found in the first blood test was Falciparum. The second blood test found residual strains that started with an 's' but I don't have the report w/ me. Can someone please tell me what the Dr.'s here should be prescribing so I can get better? Please?
Fozia, I'm sorry I couldn't meet up with you. You were out of coastline area by the time this all went down right??? Please let me know that you're ok.
The area that I live in was hit by the earthquake measuring 7.9 in 2001. They know the devastation natural disasters cause quite personally and so most of them are donating whatever they can, even those most have very little to give. It's nice to see an effort so beautiful among such a tragedy.
So many things unfolded all at once. I haven't kept up w/ this mofo. And so, it's backtracking time...
Happy New Year!!! 2005. Eeeeeep!
And, of course, an extremely belated Merry Christmas.
Quite officially, my 1st set of holidays away from people I love. But, traditions were replaced by some insane misadventures...
Xmas Eve (daytime) was spent purchasing supplies in big city Bhuj to build a community space/ verandah in the middle I live in. The actual evening, I spent under an almost full moon riding on *top of* the pyramid of wooden logs, bundles of hay, cement bags and the rest of the supplies we bought in an open top truck.
The award for funniest moment goes to ... the desert winds were super super cold so all of us huddled together ...until we found a bag of old women's clothes that we used to keep warm. This ended with a lot of tough desert men wearing women's clothing out of necessity. Hilarious!
The award for coolest part? One of my goals in coming to India was to ride atop a truck, which usually would never happen b/c men here put women's safety first and reorganize seating if necessary so I sit inside. This time I got a say in the matter b/c it was me renting the truck. No one tell Indicorps about this one!
Xmas day was spent working. The night however, we hitched a ride to a late night festival atop the temple on Black Mountain with the electrical company guys. Ate dinner with the gurus (priests), and listened to kutchi folk singers belt out the most soulful music I've heard in a long while. The moon was full and super brilliant, making the desert glow... and the view from the mountain is amazing. From up there, you can see the white salt desert, the Indo Pak border (India Bridge), and our little village.
New Years Eve, our fuse box burned out so we had no lights. I made my NY's Resolutions by candlelight under the stars. An extremely beautiful moment that I'm sad no one was there to share with me. (Everyone I love felt incredibly far away come midnight.)
Now, some business. Does anyone know why India agreed to sign the WTO product patent act that went into effect Jan 1? I don't know the history but it doesn't seem like a very good idea. It sounds like it'll ravage the already sparse medical treatments and make a lot of prescription drugs inaccessible to a big majority of the population. How does this benefit the country?
The really bad fever came back last night. Like scary bad. The strain found in the first blood test was Falciparum. The second blood test found residual strains that started with an 's' but I don't have the report w/ me. Can someone please tell me what the Dr.'s here should be prescribing so I can get better? Please?